wanting what you can't have...I wake up every morning...I don't always want to get out of bed, I hurt on a daily basis...I just want someone special in my life.  It's all I have ever wanted...I prayed for years for God to just find me that special someone, someone who I could love and have that love returned...Someone who would fill that void in my life, that void we feel when we are alone, not by ourselves, but alone.  I feel that void more than ever today.  I woke early to finish cleaning the house for the showing this morning and ever since then I have felt this impending sense of doom.  I just want this all to be over. I feel like I can't handle much more.  I want to sit here with someone in my arms and just cry...I wish I had a good friend to talk to, not online, but just in person, just stop and get a cup of coffee and talk...How do I get past this...how can I find myself again...I remember hating being alone.  I was driving home from work yesterday and began for the first time to remember what it was like to come home to an empty apartment, no wife, no girlfriend, no kids, no animals....it hurt...I remember crying myself to sleep because I was so depressed so often...and yet I keep going...sometimes I don't know how or why I keep going...but I guess the alternative is not so smart...if anyone reads this and lives near me and is willing...I could sure use a friend right now...