I woke up this morning feeling really challenged. I had to go into work and I was a little late...not a big deal, as Saturday is only a half day and I work as a mortgage loan officer, but didn't want to be there this morning. I found this website last night and for the first time in a long time I felt like I had access to people who realy understood what I was going through. People who understand because they are living it. I couldn't wait to get home and login...i shared the sight with my wife and she thinks it's great that I finally have a release for the emotions I have. I just couldn't focus at work, I was supposed to pitch this 300,000 loan today and I really need it to close to make my bills next month, but I just couldn't face it...I truly wish I could find a way to help people and make enough money to pay the bills each month. I think sometimes that is my biggest weight...thte overbearing bills I face each month. I was feeling so depressedand upset this morning...I came home ans spent some time with my wife and then went outside and played some paintball with my 17 year old son...(we have 18 acres and we play around the barns and in the pastures)...all I can say is it is an incredible release...when your playing paintball tag...My son and I will take turns hiding and seeking...it's incredible trying to find someone who is also hunting you...WOW!! You can't focus on anything else or you'll see 68 caliber balls of paint headed your way at high velocity...luckily I grew up hunting and then spent some time as a cop in the military, so I have basic combat tactic skills...I love this sport, wish I knew how much I would have loved it years ago... would have started it back then...I feel so much more better tonight...not sure why.. did just take a Xanax so I can have a great nights sleep tonight, so not sure how much longer I'm gonna be around...for those of you reading this...If you keep coming back to read my journal...get ready to read novels, cause I speak write...sometimes I just ramble on... I've always wanted to keep a journal...just ever took the time...
Replies
Hi and Welcome! This is a great site - it has helped me quite a bit. I hope you gain some insight and strength from it too.
I can totally relate to your statement of knowing you had to close the deal. I\'m a Realtor, so I understand completely that feelingyou explained. I have leads that I should pursue - yet the thought of it overwhelms me at times. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier working a 9-5 job and collecting a steady weekly paycheck. But, I love what I do, and the flexibility it allows me with my kids, etc. Anyways, welcome and I\'m glad you could relate to my journal - you\'re definitely not alone!!
Kevin, writing is one of the BEST and cheapest therapies you can have. You will be amzed at how much better you will feel by just letting it all out. And, who cares if your grammar or punctuation is off. Write because you can use it as a release. And ramble on man!