My sister and I have been estranged for 5 years. My brother and I had to have her evicted from my mothers home after she spent all of my mothers money and started to abuse her. This was not a pleasant thing to do, but I had to protect my mom. 3 years ago my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and did not want to talk to anyone in the family. In fact when my mother was dying she refused to even speak to her them. I cannot forgive or forget what she did. In January my sisters cancer came back and also mestastasized to her spine leaving her paralyzed. Her husband contacted my brother to let him know. My brother started to have contact with her because he felt that was what my dad would want him to do. In June I figured I would bite the bullet and I called her. It was a cordial call after I told her I refused to discuss the past. I told her she could call whenever she felt. Again I never heard from her. On Friday she was put in the hospice house because she was nauseous and could keep nothing down. With her husband working and her kids in school she was alone all day. They did not feel that she was dying yet. They were just trying to get her nausea under control. I spoke with Joe and he suggested I go see her. There were several factors that were in play here. First of all she lives 3 hours away. Her family wants nothing to do with me and quite frankly I really don't care. Joe said I only have now to make my peace with her before she dies. I thought about it alot and decided to go this weekend. It will have to be a full weekend because I need to stay at the hotel and rest after the trip, see her Saturday and again go back to the hotel and rest and then come home on Sunday. I don't know what to feel but after I spoke with her I cried for what could have been. So that is what I am going to do this weekend.I went to see my medical doc this morning and they found something on my liver. They believe it is a hemangioma which I looked up and said that it was a benign tumor filled with blood cells. What is happening to my life. What do I tell my kids. I can't handle much more. I am so depressed. Will it ever end? Laurie
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Hopefully seeing your sister will bring you peace. I hope that all goes well. I have gotten to where I don\'t tell my family about how my health is until I have all the facts and all results are in. I don\'t want them to dwell on health issues the way I have. Waiting for results is hard enough on Mike and I why drag my parent\'s and kids into it and have them upset and worrying when it may turn out to be something easily fixed. This works well for me......Cathy
Oh Laurie, I\'m so sorry that you are struggling. I know that feeling, that \"will it ever end\"? Not a good way to feel. I\'m sorry.
As to your sister, good for you for doing what you feel is right. Even if she is unreceptive, you will know that you\'ve done all you could and I really admire that.
What I tell myself on my darker days, and there have been plenty lately, is that I will not always feel like this. Tomorrow is a new day. It is true. Hang in there for the next set of \"better days.\"
Much love, kim.
p.s. Thank you for being such an awesome friend to me. It means a lot, Laurie. May all the world repay you with kindness.
Hi Laurie, My sister died last july and I did not call and talk to her when I could. She was a total stranger to me, and I was scared to talk to her. I did go to her funeral, and visit with her kids. We just never were close, she left home at 19, and married a very abusive man. I really don\'t know why she stayed away, but anyway, I stood by her casket staring at her crying about the should of\'s , and what we never had. I am glad you are going to go see your sister. By the time I found out how sick my sister was she was already unresponsive. Please don\'t let this happen to you. If nothing else you have to do it for yourself. Get some rest before you go, this will be an exhaustive trip for you. I agree with Cathy, don\'t say anything to your kids about the new liver problem, after all it might not be a problem! hugs sandy
Honey...go to your sister. The past is the past. You may not understand what was going though your sister head...nor her life experiences. Today, tomorrow and the days beyond are the days that matter. Make peace with her, hold her, hug her, tell her how much you love her, stroke her head and hold her hand. Forget the past, remember the good days, not the bad, Darling. We all deserve that in our final days. We have to forgive to be forgiven. Hold her close, embrace her with all your might, stroke her sweet head and let the negative go...bless her heart and yours. xxxxxxxooooooo
I know your sistr has hurt you, but you have to forgive her. You need to make peace. I know it is hard, but trust me, you don\'t want to carry this around forever. And one day it will be to late. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs....Julie
Oh Laurie, I am with you in spirit. I can understand how painful this all is. I agree with letting the past go. For yourself first and your sister. Ironic how things happened? I wish you both peace and to be free from all pain, both physical as well as emotional. I send love and healing light your way and i will be thinking of you..may you know peace in your heart and may you feel the love of the universse as you make this journey towards healing...much Love...Serenity55..Deb
laurie...i am so sorry for your pain. everyone has said it all, but i agree w/everything leslie said. you will feel the better for it for the rest of your life. by forgiving someone else you are actually healing yourself. you will be the one left behind to deal w/your feelings. you can\'t fix the should have been , but you can take care of the now. i will hold you and yours with prayer in my heart. love, janeyxoxoxo
My dear friend, I suggest the same, inform your kids *after* you get the results and have talked about a solution. Regarding your sister, sorry, but I agree with everyone else. Just be careful, tell her what is going on with you and listen to her if she has something nice to say, if she says bad things, oh well, her decision. You are a strong person. You can do this. You will come home and give us an update of how it went. I am here for you.
Thank you all for your support. I don\'t know what I would do without my ds friends. You are all important to me and I know that I can always turn to you for help and support. I am leaving tomorrow and will be home late Sunday. I had to book a hotel for 2 nights so I could deal with the trip. I love you all
I am so sorry, I am at a lost for words.
I really don\'tt know what to say about the situation with your sister since I have not talked to or seen my sisters and brother since my Mom died. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as always.
I remember a trip like this once, I sure didn\'t want to go visit my father on his death bed, but I went, and I took my turn sitting with him in the hospital, and I was angry about the past, the pain he caused me, but God sure kept me there, I wanted to run from it all, but I stayed.
The result, I forgave my father, and it made ME FEEL BETTER. I didn\'t have to carry all the pain from the past anymore. What a wonderful power the simple act of forgivness holds. To forgive does not mean I like what they did, or even want to associate with them, it simply means, I made my peace with it, and it no longer has any power over me. God Bless you and your family. Love ya/susan
Oh Laurie, you have so much happening now. I agree with the others, go to your sister, just be there. It will release YOU. Even if you both sit in silence, your presence will speak volumes. Just take care of you while you\'re on your trip. Things are bound to turn around for you. You deserve a break. You\'ve been such a wonderful friend to me and I\'m so very grateful for you. I\'ll be thinking of you and sending you all the positive energy I can muster up. Love to you, my friend.