Well I have been working on papers from my husbands funeral and many of the cards we received. I decided to just keep everything in the box because it is too painful to continue the process. Yesterday I went through my mom's picture album. That was rough. I saw pictures of my parents and my aunt. all who are gone and wish I could go back in time for just one more kiss or hug. I am so sad. I miss them terribly. I wonder if you ever truly let go. When I first started dating after my husband died, I felt so guilty, but I was only 44. I didn't want to go through life alone. I am living with Joe for 5 years but I will NEVER give all of myself again. It hurts too much. Maybe I am wrong, but I can't go thru that type of pain and loss again.
Replies
Friend... my husband died almost 4 yrs ago too. It is hard to totally let go, but at the sametime, we all have so much to offer and someone has much to offer you. Please give it your all. Just think about this, do you \"truly\" believe your husband would want you to go through life with your guard up and live life alone? Of course not! He wants you to be happy, and live life. I know looking at photo\'s brings all the emotions back to surface, but try and smile and let the good times outweight the saddness you feel. I believe people who come into our lives and pass on are our stepping stones to where we\'re going next. Your husband gave you memories, love,tenderness and most of all he taught you what love feels like. Share your love and give Joe a chance to love you back. Maybe your husband brought him to you. It\'s not \"by chance\" that you met this man.
Just something for you to think about, I\'ve been through the same thing you have. I have a wonderful husband now, I know he was brought to me by my husband who passed, he knew I needed a man with a sincere heart and gentle hands, and I have him. If I would have continued to block out my feelings of ever opening up, he might have just passed me by. Then where would I be now if I had kept myself closed off? Joe obviously has a great deal of patients and love for you, give him a chance to be the man you long for. Just remember, it\'s okay to cry, it\'s okay to feel the pain of his death, it\'s okay to be unsure of giving someone else 100% because maybe you\'re afraid this can happen again, it\'s okay to take baby steps, it\'s okay to feel guilty, why we do, I\'m not sure. BUT it\'s not okay to take the love you have inside and share it with others. If you will just try to let the \"fear\" go and take a chance, just take the chance. Even if something was to happen to joe, rather you gave your all or not, you\'d still feel the pain and loss of him. So let this man love you and love him in return. We all will feel that kind of pain & loss again, we have family and friends who can go anytime, so don\'t hide behind the tree in hopes that it can\'t affect you if you keep your distance, because it will get you.
I hope this was too brutal, but sweetie, been in your shoe\'s and tried to keep my feelings at bay, it doesn\'t protect you, actually it keeps you from living a full filled life.