Hero

     My crossword puzzle dictionary describes the word hero as: idol, champion.  I think that is appropriate.  You, my RA brothers and sisters are my "heros"  my "champions" today.     You see, I know what it is like to slowly wake up in the morning and what heroic measures it takes just to make that first move.  What is going to hurt today?  How strong will the pain be?  Will I be able to handle it?  When you make that first move, you are a hero!    You are a hero when you take that first step, put your feet on the floor, and try to move.  The tears may squirt out of your eyes, but you keep on moving.  It is the only way and it makes you a hero.    When you take time on the phone with the insurance company, when you fight for disability,you are a hero.  No they don't understand where we are and no they don't always know how to process our paperwork.  But you keep trying, keep calling, keep pushing for the services that are needed.      When you try to explain to your doctor one more time what your "pain number" is, you are a hero.  Try to get across the point that a very managable #5 pain on Monday, with no relief day or night, is no longer a managable #5 by Friday.  It is right up there at an 8, maybe higher.  When you try explain what chronic pain does to the inside of your head, you are a hero.  That pain is always there and if it is drugged into occasional submission, well, it will be back and we know it.  Try living with that dark cloud in your head and still face each day?!! That takes a hero!     And what about the heart pain?  You see, RA is not just a joint disease or even just an auto-immune disease.  It effects every aspect of our lives and it takes a hero to live it.  The heart pain of giving up a loved job, of not being able to pick up your babies, of watching loved ones pull away, part out of frustration because they can't help your pain, part because they aren't sure the pain is real.  To be in such pain and to be thought even fleetingly as a "faker", well it takes a hero to face that.     To all of you that take time on the Daily Strength web site to comfort a newbie, to help with real life medication reactions, and to provide much needed laughs, you are my heros.  Words can't express how much you do!      You see you are all my heros.  You are heros when you are angry, fighting for the rights that we deserve, fighting the injustice of a disease that is robbing us of life as we know it.  You are my hero when you sit quietly and show me there is peace in the valley.  And yes, we are loved by each other and by God.  You are my heros.     So today, give yourselves hugs and know you are loved.  Most of all know you are, each and everyone of you, HEROS!