Today could be the worst day of my life. Today is my oldest sons birthday (he turned 7) and my exboyfriend call and said that he is going to put a restraining order on me probalby on Monday. Yesterday he received a threatening email probably from my mom telling him to watch your back. He had taken it to the police station and they told him to final a report on my mom which I agree and now one on me. I haven't been the same since. Everyday I have to sit here going through day 5 without my 5 month old son. Tearing a little boy away from me and he says that I don't derserve him. That he wishes that this never happened. There is times that I cry all day because my baby isn't here and I don't know where he is at. All my ex tells me is in a hotel and that's it. I miss my son so much that I don't know what to do. If I could take my past back I would but the damage is done and now he is primary custody of my baby and I only get to see him two days a week. His present address has to be with his is father and to me it feels like that I lost everything. Every day I try to be strong nowing that my boys (all 3) needs there mother but without my children I"m a mess because I don't have my babies. I'm lost without my children.......All I can do is throw money away on bowling (after I make sure that my children get what they need and bills) but this hurts so much.
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You need to get some mental health help. It is confidential and not used against you if you are getting help it will be better for you. You may be more calm and be able to deal with this better. It may just be temporary but acting out and screaming or whatever doesn\'t help with the kids and getting them back. You need to show that you are a good parent and that you are trying to get the help you need. Then stay away from anyone or thing that will cause a problem with getting those kids back, sorry isn\'t good enough, you must proove you are doing right. Take all the evidence of anything and get rid of it. Stay away from old people and friends that may have influenced you to do things you do not need to be doing. Think of the kids and only the kids, not friends, or bowling....gat mom and family and friends that know you and love you to help, anyone that is for you....then proove yourself and be a good mother all the rime...visit every time and always tell that baby that you love him. Good luck, Prayers coming your way. You need to put them first, get him out of your life except for the child and don\'t fight with the child present, it\'s not his fault!!! You two chose to have him now you need to choose to make his life good, not your own, save that for later. Good luck.