Tuesday

I think I'm getting fat.  Might be a medication thing, I'm not sure.   I never or rarely have any clear direction in my life right now to take.  I do like the quote from Viktor Frankl in that it is not us that questions life, it is at every moment life is questioning us.  That means I'm not in control I think.  It means God is always questioning me, always giving me choices and challenging me.  Oh how I wish I could just sneak away from this.  And live in relative obscurity, but that will not happen no matter how much I wish.   I don't like being forced into a situation, but that is what life is, being forced to respond and I've never been one for 'choice' because I do beleive 'choice' to be an illusion.  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade is a classic example of this which to me is the equivalent of ignorning your life.