HIM
I swear, I wanted to help him out, I already paid 1 bill for him; the cable. The it was the water that got shut off~ which could have been prevented if he would have called and not been so damn stuborn. So he had to pay a reconnect fee along with regular payment. And I helped him by using my debit card and really paid more using that then the cash that he gave me. Then next came the gas turned off~which I told him to call and set up payment plans~it was only for $83. And now today the electric was shut off and he owes 400 hundred and some dollars. I told him to also call them and set up payment plan with them. He is the one that wanted to be all "big and bad" and stay in that house. I even sat down with him and circled the numbers and told him to call and to get arrangements set up so that he would not have to pay reconnect fees. Now he is calling me and telling me that the electric was shut off and things. I was trying to help him so that he could get on his feet and live there until the house sold and all he was wanting to do was go out and ruin shit and now here I am again~ left to pick up the pieces. I care about him that much! I really do. I still do care and dont seem to know why?
Replies
does he care about you that much? sounds like me you use your money to try and buy love.
I have done the same thing Callie. I just wonder how much they appreciate it or do they just expect it? I don\'t think that you are buying his love. I know what it feels like to watch someone go through this and want to help. Sometimes we just have to stand back and let it happen. They will never realize and take care of things themselves. I know you care about him but I just wonder if he really appreciates this or if he just \"expects\" you to bail him out?
cant buy me love money cant buy me love...lol...all I can think about is that beetles song....lol. Ok, first off, if I was rich and had nothing better to do with my time, money, and life then maybe I could understand the \"buying his love\" thing. But I am a single mother who works my ass off to barely get by and I do have my own bills and student loans to pay. Obviously this has become a pattern of the way that I am to him. I do care about him, no matter what he does to me I guess. He is the father of my daughter, he was my best friend for 9 yrs. I know that he has done bad things and that he probably has different intentions than I do, but that does not stop me from caring about him or helping him when he needs it. Yes, Lavender, I think you are on it. I does probably expect this behavior from me because I have always been there for him when he is in trouble or needs something. He is so used to it that he just thinks no matter what I am going to be there to save him and rescue him. He never gives me a thing in return and i dont expect it. The fact of the matter is, it makes it hard for me knowing that i left the house and he is not even trying to better himself. what did i expect? for him to magically change because i left? I guess not. I am not for any matter trying to buy someones love especially when i do and i always will care about the good person that i want to think of him as. he has a good side, he is the one that i married!!!! he is the one whom i have my beautiful daughter with. I feel that his mind is in a big funk probably due to a variety of things~ alcoholism and childhood experiences that have come back to haunt him. His mind has just happened to get worse over the yrs. I could possibly be the only one that takes this in to consideration and wants to help him. yes i know that he is the only one who can help himself, but it is still hard for me to take my hands completely out of the situation and turn my back. I am weak at leaving him for some reason. I do still love and care about him and this is probably just part of the grieving process and i am probably one of those stupid women that keep going back. at this point i dont feel connected with him in a way that i feel controlled by him but i feel sorry for him and totally see that he has a hard time functioning and that he continues to deteriorate. Oh well, we all have are own opinions. I wish it was that easy to change someone with money~ but it is not. I work and live paycheck to paycheck at the moment and money is the root of all evil~ so just to let you know I am not bragging that i am helping him because i think i am rich....that is not that way that i think at all. before that statement comes out of your mouth you might consider getting more info from the one who wrote it...lol. I have a giving heart and an open mind. I am not the unhealthy one, he is. Yes i do understand that the behavior that i am doing now is unhealthy because i am an enabler. oh well, damn i hope that i learn sometime that my behavior is truly not helping him in the long run. Peace :)