sad

So I had a conversation with my husband and I was trying to just be cool and tell him that I wanted a divorce and that I want to be civil and that I dont want to hurt him or see him struggle in life. Why do I feel like, after being abused, that I still need to take care of this "grown man" as he is my child. Why is it so hard for me to let this "man" go without knowing that he is ok? It is hard for me just to break it off and say enough is enough. I did tell him that I had to end this unhealthy relationship and he is crying and saying that "we were meant to be together." He is not making it easy for this to end civil and it is so miserable doing this! I know I need to just end it and be done and take the steps that I need to take to end this. why is it so hard to see him cry when he has beat me down on more that one occasion? Why do I feel like I dont want to just leave him hanging and on his own? Why do I still have such a heart and feeling of caring for him? I am telling him things that he does not want to hear and he is all emotional and saying "I dont want a divorce, I can not live without you, I am scared. I dont want to loose my daughter." I told him that I want to have peace and I want to stop this fighting and immature bullcrap. I am exhausted with this! I told him that this relationship is unhealthy and that I want to be free and out of this and to grow as God wanted me to grow. I told him that I will still help him if he needs anything. He is just continuing to make me feel sorry for him and he is so much more immature than me that I guess it is easier for him to hurt me than it is for me to hurt him. It sucks! I CAN see something better beyond this relationship without him~ it is him who is unable to and he is trying to make me feel bad for wanting a divorce. I know it is the abusers tactics and all, but why does it still feel like I dont want to see him hurt, like he is my child?