Saturday
I forget the good and healing aspects of music...honestly been so depressed been avoiding it as music can bring up memories not even so much from relationship just past. It affects me more when in a depressed state though. When watching the ball drop and Taylor Swift sang live it reminded me how much music does help me.
So last night I went to bed early. Kids dad picked them up they come back later today. So I did sleep well and relaxed for about hour after I woke and now have Pandora going and cleaning. I really don't want to clean but it needs to be done and better while kids gone. Tomorrow we are having a belated Christmas dinner and gifts with my mom so feel today is best day to clean. I also need to get rest of our food for that, work on grocery list, laundry...too much
Yesterday was such a long day at work as I figured it would be. They have me driving all over the place. BLAHÂ Then my head was throbbing right at end so thrilling with the three kids. I wanted the girls to clean but I felt too bad to keep on them. I think I was just overly exhausted that with stress.
I am more in a foggy state of mind. Not any worse so guess that's good but feeling deeply saddened by life and stressed about things I have upcoming. Feeling so alone in my life. OH WELL....It is what it is.....I may not be meant for happiness but I will do my best to make an effort to improve.
2015 is a new year and I don't really agree with a new me but a work in progress.... Finally heading back to school, need to work on losing weight a continuous goal! I cant ever seem to stick to it:( I want to get back to working out as this really helps my stress and anxiety! I need a new job so now holidays are over will focus on that a lot more. It sucks cause I need longer shifts and its just a dreaded task and will work mostly weekends so need a place to work with me here. The hopes is where I work will hire me as a new grad LPN then stay there at least 1 years till experienced. Or if I decide to do RN maybe stay till that pont I dunno yet. My head spins all the time.
So last night I went to bed early. Kids dad picked them up they come back later today. So I did sleep well and relaxed for about hour after I woke and now have Pandora going and cleaning. I really don't want to clean but it needs to be done and better while kids gone. Tomorrow we are having a belated Christmas dinner and gifts with my mom so feel today is best day to clean. I also need to get rest of our food for that, work on grocery list, laundry...too much
Yesterday was such a long day at work as I figured it would be. They have me driving all over the place. BLAHÂ Then my head was throbbing right at end so thrilling with the three kids. I wanted the girls to clean but I felt too bad to keep on them. I think I was just overly exhausted that with stress.
I am more in a foggy state of mind. Not any worse so guess that's good but feeling deeply saddened by life and stressed about things I have upcoming. Feeling so alone in my life. OH WELL....It is what it is.....I may not be meant for happiness but I will do my best to make an effort to improve.
2015 is a new year and I don't really agree with a new me but a work in progress.... Finally heading back to school, need to work on losing weight a continuous goal! I cant ever seem to stick to it:( I want to get back to working out as this really helps my stress and anxiety! I need a new job so now holidays are over will focus on that a lot more. It sucks cause I need longer shifts and its just a dreaded task and will work mostly weekends so need a place to work with me here. The hopes is where I work will hire me as a new grad LPN then stay there at least 1 years till experienced. Or if I decide to do RN maybe stay till that pont I dunno yet. My head spins all the time.
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