i dont know where to start. i have my good days and bad. i am trying my hardest to stay positive. i was put on different meds for depression. they put me on prozac again but a higher dose. i hope this will work. i have been on so many meds they cant figure out what will help me. i have my family and friends around me they try to help me.  i have been off work almost a year because of a mistake i made. i have paid for it big time. i have a friend i have talked to that is coming back home next month so it helps when he is around, i find it very easy to talk to him. when i stop and think about things i feel bad i just have to stay busy. a friend of mine just lost her dad and then she was talking about ending her life so she could be with him. i think i have changed her mind but i could be wrong. i had a friend i talked to for a while, untill she took her life. i talked to her hours before she took her life. her mom called me after she found her. she had left a note for somebody to call me. i still blame myself for it. i feel like i should of saw the signs. in the last year i have lost 6 friends. sometimes i stop and think about other people that has it worse off then me. i have family that has helped me out in the last year. i look at pictures and it helps me feel better.



please choose to be on your own side...you know I LOVE the Jason Bourne movies and I have adopted a lot of his \'sayings\'...one of my favorites is \",,,I\'m on my own side now...\" a lot of people care about you...but...you have to be on your own side too. you area probably aware of your faults and mistakes more than your positive points an successses..write down a list of ll that is good about you and what your goals are and how you are going to use all your good stuff to reach your goals.

I think it is a BIG positive that you are on meds...lots of credit to you...that is ving on your own side...give it a chance to work.... and keep on keepin on..YOU are WORTH IT!!!!