Beginning of week 2 and still no job.  I will be okay though if my former company keeps their word.  If they do not, I will be sure to post thier name here :) Ex is hell bent for leather to move to Indiana with no more connection than a friend in tow and a nearly dead truck.    I guess she sees that my life is better now so perhaps she hopes for the same.  I was surprised when she messaged me the other day about our daughters.  One is having more frequent and more intense seizures and no one seems to know why. She has been cat scanned, but nothing.  Other twin is having marital problems while my oldest lives right across from the ex.  Dunno how she is gonna cause she moved to be close to both of us.  When ex divorced me, I took off for NC, now ex is moving an equally far distance.  I have to make a new life, it is the only way I can survive.  If I had just tried to maintain, I would have failed.  I have been lucky so far, but I am also stronger and I can see now that there are lots of people just like me who want nothing more complex in a relationship than to love and be loved by someone who they can respect.    Meeting someone is the hardest step, there are so many social barriers.  But there is a wide pool of decent people, we just sometimes do not see them.  Funny, many of us have life to show us the way but still act like a junior high schooler when it comes to reaching out and touching someone, or letting them know that we care and are interested.  I will never have the problem again.  In fact, I think I have the opposite problem.  There are some here that I KNOW would make fine loving companions.  I no longer believe in that "one", what I believe is that you find someone and if it clicks, they BECOME the "one"  I have met some here that I just know I would not mind getting to know better.  I did not intend for this site to be a singles bar for me, but when you meet someone nice, does it matter where that happens?     So, I plunge headlong into my new life, my new love flying along with me.    Just never give up faith.  I know that this site helped me heal, helped me along in my darkest days.  I know that there are many here just entering the early stages of loss and grief.  It DOES get better, I swear.  And although the loss of a long term relationship can be devastating, if you allow yourself, you can move on and find another. For no matter how lonely you are, no matter how down on yourself you are, no matter if you think you are the most unattractive person in the world (you are not) there are at least 5 people out there who wouldjust love to have someone JUST LIKE YOU, to cherish and love.  They would do almost anything just to snag one hug from you, just to snag a soft, warm kiss from you. Hope, and happiness await you and me!