I think it is important for some to realize that just because I am happy healthy, living a dream life, that simply because I KNOW my life is better off in every way today than it was pre-divorce, it does not mean that I am not a strong advocate for marriage.  But marriage is a partnership, and sometimes, even if it is a 32 year relationship, you can look back and see that perhaps, what you have today is better than what you had then. I care about my ex wife.  I care that she lives the typical internet addict's life,  on for hours at a time, living for the internet, online every waking moment with no other social outlet.  In addition, she has the cybersex thing going too.  I told a friend here that if my ex had called me, I would have answered and gave it another go.  That is not so anymore, not at this moment.  Oh don't get me wrong, I am scarred forever from this.  The pain will take years and years to quit being a significant portion of my life.  However, this life I have RIGHT NOW, is WONDERFUL.  Does that mean that tragedy will not strike?  Nah, hardly any life can go very long without challenges.  And when the inevitable difficulty arises, I am not gonna blame this wonderful life for that curse.  I will not use that as a sign that simply because I moved forward, God sent a curse to me.         I met another, , and she is beautiful to me.  She is completely different than my ex, that is a typical post marriage relationship.  But that difference makes ALL the difference.      I never realized that what I had was deficient emotionally for me.  I never realized that the reason my marriage seemed to always be so damn much work was because I formed a relationship with someone who could not love me in the style that is most fulfilling for me.  It was the same for my ex.  It lasted so long not because of marital bliss, but because when the times were good, they were GREAT!       We are always told, work that marriage out.  Marriage is work, God says stay marriead.  We are told by so many that we need to stay the course.  And so we endure, always being faithful, hanging in there.  Maybe some of you were like me, you feared what life might be without your spouse in your life, so although from time during the bad times, you wondered about greener pastures, you stayed the course.   Till one day, the inconcievable happens.  You find out about the affair, or the big fight happens.  Some key event forces the issue.  And then you are faced with one of your worst fears.  Life without THEM.     So here I am today.  I am lucky, I am dating a new love.  She is very different and we do not fit together flawlessly.  Oh not a chance LOL.  However, in the key issues that are important, we fit very well.  The loving, the touching, how we act in love, that is where we fit together perfectly.  And now, having lived through the worst of it, I am finally happy again.