Sweety and I have been doing some talking bout this and that.  One thing I have said before and now she is echoing is that it is hard for me to believe that God would let me have happiness this easily.  She kinda feels the same way.  She had mentioned that most folks spend a while on their own unelss they are having an affair.  I know several that had an affair, moved right in and are still going after it.  Heck, several got married to each other.  So moving from one relationship to another can have a positive outcome.It is nearly crunch time.  I am getting nervous because I am pretty sure that I am going to be offerered a job 2 hours from her.  I am worrying over the fact that not only am I moving out on my own, but that I will have absolutely no support in a strange town.  It would be one thing to be next door or 20 mins away, but 108 miles away from the nearest person you know?  In a way, being on my own in a new town building a new life is exciting, but my life up to this point is staying with the situation that you know because the one you do not know may be worse :)  Kinda of tells me it might be time to shake it up eh?  Staying with the status quo because it was safe has brought me long term misery and a divorce. I got my STBX (roomie) to talk about why she was so hostile.  It all comes down to getting a single attitude because that is what her life is.  We still live a little like man and wife in a 100 little ways that are done almost automatically.   In addition, I have not moved out as quickly as she wanted with the trip to my new love and all, and that is bothering her.  She wants to start bringing her men to her home and she cannot do that as long as I am there.  There is a man from England that will be here in Sept, at least he will be if I am out of the house.  So the push is on, and because of that, sometimes hostility breaks out.  I just need to get out of the house and start a new life.  For now I have compromised with her, and asked that she give me 2 days notice when they are coming to visit.  I will go visit my sister or something so she can have the house to her self.  For myself, my path right now is still with my NC sweety and I am not ready to deviate from that.   Heck, even 6 months of good loving bliss from her is enough reward to encourage me to move closer to her.  I want more than that, of course, but the move to NC is not all about her.  It is about personal growth, it is about starting a new life too.    And if for some reason she and I fail, then heck, it won't be that hard to pack up and start someplace else if I want.  The first one is always the hardest.  That is why it is so important to me to move out there with money in the bank.  It is my symbol that her only responsibility for me is to give me her love for as long as she can.  After that, it is all my baby to deal with, and I am strong enough now to handle it.The joy and happiness I have found with her was well worth the visit out there, and in a way, has helped me move on some too.  She came to me at the perfect moment, and I really think God sent her.  Whether we are here for each other forever is still to be decided, but I feel hope and optimism about this love relationship.  I have not been hopeful in love for a long time.    She is a sweety and I am hungering again for her hugs and kisses.   I am very symbolic.  Moving will be a symbol that I am a man who can do what he wants when he wants where he wants.  It will show to the world that I no longer need anyone to survive, that whoever I choose to be in my life will be there because I want them, not because I am unable to live alone.  I am pretty sure that NC sweety needs to see that in me too.  She does not want the burden of being the one that uprooted me and then later, has to tell me that it is over.  I think she needs to see that me moving out there is not all about her, but it is about me too.  We will date a while and see how it goes.  So, today I am still on the same general path set in motion.  The path is a little different, but it still leads to the same general conclusion.  Will it be short term happiness or will it lead to a life of joy and love?  Dunno, but it is time to go down the path less traveled.  Little risk means little reward.  And to me, she is worth taking this chance.  When it all comes down to it, it is so little risk considering the great reward that can come from it