My wife can now get to my blog so I want to be clear here. I take a lot of the blame here. My temper did the damage. I was out of control in the 80's clear up until 98. When we seperated, I got more under control but I relinquished all the power to her. I could not live that way, feeling powerless and just waiting for her to ask for a divorce. We never merged after that seperation, just two folks living in the same house. I still had blowups although less frequent. She was still locked down tight emotionally and with her closed up, never comfortable trusting me with her feelings, it was just a matter of time.
I cannot stop her from wanting happiness and she cannot find it with me. She explained it well today. A pot of water heats up until all of a sudden, it breaks into a boil. That is her. She reached that turning point and nothing can make it stop. She is is miserable with me around that just the sight of me makes her nervous and upset. I made up a shortcut for what she feels

ATBU Any thing but U. Anything is better than having me around. And each die, I die a little more inside

I also post these same blogs at
360.yahoo.com/honkwomp54