Hi so I haven't been on in such a while my whole page has been cleared but that's OK I'll fix most later.  I'm back to night because I was only on here able  ever feel I could be me because in my world I have so many people around that have no idea who I am and I am around people all the time most more than 25 years and I can tell you more of the likes dislikes clothes size and where they keep things in there garage but not one can tell you what my favorite color is.  I am there for them ups downs it all and I'm just so tired of going through life I'm everyone's robot but could care less that I'm actually a human....so I have to go through watching every one get ready for Christmas I unload the garage unpack and complain that a store bought decoration chipped  and here about all the things you bought for grownups or whatever then I go alone a open a small box of things so thankful for the fact that I have them and sit alone with my memories and deal with the fact that that the ornaments I do have I can't sit with I of the the of my awesome children I can only hold remember an talk to my full time Angel and then look at the Lil Christmas tree that was my son's and go through the moment's of that along and then makes me feel like such a bad mom because at there are nothing to give the nieces and nephew nothing this year ...I was the victim of a car accident a copy months ago so things been pretty rough. ...but it just makes me feel less than a decent aunt red for them because I believe it's about god them and making smiles .......sorry I don't know where that came from and sorry just trying not bother the world around me well waste my time plus a lot they have no clue and I wouldn't want that