Tired

Well...   I walk six days a week.  I need to walk because it helps me mentally and physically.  The weather has been nice for me.  As soon as the temperature starts to creep up into the 90's I can feel a difference.  It seems like my body knows first thing in the morning if the hot is going to be super hot.
I couldn't get myself up to walk this morning.  It is mostly self-discipline.  The other part is believing I can do it.
I wish I knew how to overcome feelings of despondency.  I just plow through them, for the most part.  I've tried everything else, but plowing through seems to be about the only way to go for me.
It wasn't overly hot today.  I wonder if I have been overdoing it.  I walk and then the weather has been nice enough for me to do yard work when I get back from my walks.  I have the personality that I do as much as I can when I can.  There's all this stuff about pacing and trying to maintain an even keel, so to speak.  I HAVE to do what I can when I can.  There is this sense of urgency about it.
Some might say that you cannot live your life in fear; meaning, I am afraid that I have to do something NOW since I don't know if I will be able to do it later.  That kind of fear seems to be part of the ME/CFS sequence.  It simply is...
So, today I am tired.  Maybe too much sun, too much doing, too much pushing.  I don't know.  I never quite know.  My chest feels like it is too much work to take in a breath.   One of those days...
I know I can come here and say, "I didn't go for a walk today," and people will understand what that means beyond the words.  I can tell my family those same words and they don't really understand how different today is for me.
carry on.