So maybe it's just a moment of self doubt (which appears far too often for me) but I am wondering if I don't sort of self sabotage myself.  I was going to get as healthy as possible and make one last try at a pregancy this spring.  I was doing well before Christmas but have really fallen off over the winter.  Four workouts per week has become one and occasionally two.  The weight I've lost I've regained.  Do I not have the strength or will power or am I somehow subconsciously creating reasons already for why I shouldn't try this pregnancy or already preparing for it to fail? I finally will learn the results of my CAT scan tomorrow - I don't think it is significant or will be treated as significant since it has been six weeks since the scan. The women I work with that are my age are done their families.  They talk about how glad they are that their children are getting older or moving out.  The younger women are adding to their families.  Two colleagues are pregnant and one just had her third son last month.  I don't fit in with any of them or at least I certainly don't feel I can talk about SIF with them.