I know my journals are few and far between . Friends be assured that I do check in regularly to see how you are doing but don't always have time to post a journal. Well I'm playing the waiting game again....... another referral. My family doctor has a dragon lady for a receptionist. It is a feat to make it past her to make an appointment. Even when my daughter had a fever of 103 for four days, she still couldn't fit me in until 2 days later. Anyway I waited for this referral appointment for a month. Now I will have to wait for dragon lady to send the referral off. She takes her sweet time. My doctor sort of put her foot in her mouth. I started to talk about how I wasn't ready to give up yet and she mentioned another patient of hers who has suffered multiple miscarriages. I told her to recommend the support group that I attend. Then she said something along the lines of "....it's making her so depressed I don't know why she keeps trying." Which made it rather awkward for me to ask for another referral. I'm having second thoughts. All winter I was planning to try again in June...... without progesterone, without these doctors who treat me like an annoying file, and try to recreate the conditions of my first pregnancy .....I am scared. I just don't know if I have the strength to go through this pain and heartache again. On the other hand, I do so want another baby. I want my daughter to have a sibling........family.
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It is hard sometimes knowing whether it\'s best to continue - or give up. I know that space. Yet until medically it is deemed I cannot conceive a child biologically, I hit a wall medically and/or emotionally I\'m over it all, I\'m hanging in there. That is so very hard for \"outsiders\" to grasp - that our desire/want for another child kind of overrides everything. I wish you all the best around your decision - hanging in a bit longer or hanging up your hat. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. x
p.s: I know the dragon-lady receptionist dynamic well! ;)
yeah, it\'s so important to me that we get a sibling for my little girl, i started thinking of it the first time i saw her face. i know just what you mean. i\'m all for leaving these doctors behind if you are comfortable with it, as they have not proven the benefits or even the complement of risks which might be involved with \"treatments\" they recommend for recurrent miscarriage... besides the fact that i hate what i hear about your doctors and specialists. they don\'t seem to care about you and what you want and what you have decided as a family. my dr. is a dodo, but there\'s only one of him and i\'ll be moving on. it just seems wherever you turn, you get the same attitude. my husband and i ultimately decided that we\'d keep trying until we physically couldn\'t do it any more, but that\'s big talk that didn\'t always last through the darkest hours of the night. you definitely have something going for you in that beautiful, all-natural little girl you\'ve got, no artificial ingredients whatsoever. her existence raises your odds on another one, especially id the doctors say they can\'t find anything wrong with your body. i will be 100% with you whatever you choose, but obviously i really really want to see you get your heart\'s desire.
best wishes. if you need someone to do the hoping, i have overflowing hopes for you and your family.
pigtails.
I can totally identify with you about doctors. Strong hugs! I still think they are wrong. I can understand about what you are saying. I feel too scared to be pregnant, but I love babies. I just want another one. DH and I also moving forward on looking into adoption.