I know my journals are few and far between .  Friends be assured that I do check in regularly to see how you are doing but don't always have time to post a journal. Well I'm playing the waiting game again....... another referral.  My family doctor has a dragon lady for a receptionist.  It is a feat to make it past her to make an appointment.  Even when my daughter had a fever of 103 for four days, she still couldn't fit me in until 2 days later.  Anyway I waited for this referral appointment for a month.  Now I will have to wait for dragon lady to send the referral off.  She takes her sweet time. My doctor sort of put her foot in her mouth.  I started to talk about how I wasn't ready to give up yet and she mentioned another patient of hers who has suffered multiple miscarriages.  I told her to recommend the support group that I attend.   Then she said something along the lines of "....it's making her so depressed I don't know why she keeps trying."   Which made it rather awkward for me to ask for another referral. I'm having second thoughts.  All winter I was planning to try again in June...... without progesterone, without these doctors who treat me like an annoying file, and try to recreate the conditions of my first pregnancy .....I am scared.  I just don't know if I have the strength to go through this pain and heartache again.  On the other hand, I do so want another baby.  I want my daughter to have a sibling........family.