I'm still checking in regularly DS friends.   I've been consumed by my job lately.  Sometimes I think I need help with time management and organization.....most of my waking hours are work.  Maybe I'm just a slow worker or maybe I take on too much.I've been thinking about my miscarriages lately in light of the recently released study on caffeine.  Remember all my losses are unexplained.  Three doctors now have said they can do nothing for me.  My first miscarriage occured on November 25, 2005.  I wasn't watching my caffiene consumption.  I thought I would have a problem free pregnancy as I had for my first child.   I usually only have one cup of coffee in the morning but I do drink tea at night.  But that  pregnancy I remember eating LOTS of those little Halloween chocolate bars that were left over.  It's a useless exercise but now I'm thinking was it me and my caffiene consumption that caused that miscarriage?  I remember so clearly going for a ultrasoud.  There was a heart beat and they told me everything was fine but a week later I was miscarrying.  And then with the next two as they were over the winter I drank  a lot of hot chocolate and tea.   I know I'm just grasping at reasons why and this one does nothing but punish me with guilt.  It just has been something on my mind since hearing that study.I am still thinking of trying one last time.   I am trying to get healthy.  I want to lose 20 pounds and significantly improve my eating habits.  I am about 20 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago.  I am 10 pounds heavier than I was a year ago.   Whether I try again or not, it is something I should do for myself and my family.   My daughter deserves a healthy mom as she grows up.  I want to be there to see her go off to university and see my grandchildren.  I am considering going to the naturopath and getting my body in the best possible condition.   We'll see if I am able to follow through.It is difficult when people tell me I'm too old to have a baby or that I am crazy to be considering it after 4 miscarriages.  I am thinking of you guys.