Don't worry DS friends. I still exist. I'm simply terrible at time management.  Some people seem to do everything without dropping any balls...e.g. work, house work, caring for children, garden, exercise, email etc.....but not me.  Days go back where I don't get a chance to check email.  I keep trying.... I know it's about prioritizing.  My precious daughter comes first.  I do admit with the surgery I allowed myself some lounging, reading time.  I've finished reading the last Harry Potter.  What can I say....I kind of like them.   Now I've gone back to reread the sixth one.  I have a list of books I'm supposed to check out over the summer for a book club I joined last year.  Yikes I haven't read any on the list yet.I'm starting to feel "normal" again.... physically.  I've been feeling rather down and tired for so long.  Even though I can rationally tell myself "well your body wasn't healed, you've been bleeding for three months and that explains your mood", I still feel that it is my problem that I haven't really got out of this slump. I think in my depressed state I ate more and had no desire to do any exercise.  Honestly I put on 10 pounds since the miscarriage and I was already carrying extra weight.  I'm not obese but it's the heaviest I've ever been except for my one and only successful pregnancy.   I know somehow we go on.  Most days I'm ok but, for me anyway, my miscarriages are always at the back of my mind. Here and there, there are always little things that bring my losses to the fore front and cause my eyes to well up.   For example my husband and I saw a play on Sunday night and one of the characters gave a brief line how she had had two miscarriages.  Well right away I teared up and it took me time to refocus on the play.  A part of me wanted to say , "who cares about the other issues/problems..... losing a baby is the real problem."  I still find seeing pregnant women makes me sad.  My husband often wonders why I'm suddenly in a quiet non communcative mood.Anyway I've finally stopped bleeding and feel a bit more energy.  I'm trying to get back to riding my bike.  So far I've been out 3 times with an old friend.   Now I have to keep it up and retrain my eating habits.I haven't called the doctor yet nor have I heard from the referral.  I was going to call the week after the surgery as I was still bleeding, rather heavily at times.  I think it was a combination of the surgery and my regular period.   It would give me an "excuse" for calling considering she said to wait two months.  I'm still trying to get the nerve up to call anyway just to ask if they say anything in the exploratory.Has anyone read "Coming to Term"?   It is a book written by a journalist whose wife suffered 4 miscarriages.  ON the one hand it gives me hope because they went on to a successful pregnancy after 4 miscarriages without any interventions.  On the other hand it kind of dashes my hopes because it says that people in my boat are trying interventions that are of no real benefit because statistically they would have a successful pregnancy anyway.  It sounds like what my doctor says.  I don't know.  I still feel that something is going wrong with my pregnancies.  I think they are normal embryos but then something goes wrong.  I had one miscarriage at 38, two at 39 and one at 40.....I don't think they were all chromosonally abnormal.   I still think the pain in my side is significant.So DS friends I continue to wait and worry time will run out for me.