Thanks for the messages DS friends.  I'm hanging in there.  I guess I will go through with the surgery with my current doctor.  She does seem to be washing her hands of me but I need to get this last miscarriage resolved.  That is step one.  I can't move forward with any other decisions until it is finally over. I can't let my health go on like this.  It would be too long and difficult to get another doctor to do this surgery.  It tooks months to get in to see this specialist.Send your best positive thoughts guys...tonight I'm hosting a dinner for some friends.  A friend of mine who is pregnant is coming.  Her due date is two weeks after what mine would have been.  I'm sort of dreading it.  I am happy for her but it very bittersweet for me.  I might be drinking lots of  wine!!!