Well I had to write about my appointment yesterday.It began with the ultrasound.  I had a rather chatty technician.  I've had her before.  She kindly let me see the screen and a picture of the piece they are concerned about.  Anyway I asked about my ovaries because of the discomfort I've had and the idea that I ovulated.  She said "how do you know.... there are many other things in your pelvic area...?"  I agreed.  Notheless she took pictures of my ovaries and said they looked ok.  I was wondering if they would show a cyst which would be normal after ovulation.  Then she said " you just say there and relax and be loose... and I'm going to be a little mean"  I had no idea what she meant. It was most uncomfortable whatever she was doing with the probe but I didn't ask.   I assumed she was trying to kind of look around and under the uterus regarding my reported pain.  Remember this....it may be significant later.Then I saw my doctor who told me what I had in my uterus was "tissue" not a blot clot because it had blood vessel and had blood vessels running into the uterine wall.  She said it was live tissue but "dying" as evidenced by slowly dropping HCG.  She said if my HCG plateaued or began to climb it would mean this tissue was growing.  There was some big long name for this condition.  It can be serious because it can grow right through and out the uterus.  So she said one more week of testing my blood.  She told me if I took Misoprostil it would probably clear it out.  If my HCG plateaus, they had to do a D&C.I asked her my crazy idea about ovulating .  She said yes at a certain level, your HCG does not have to be zero, you can ovulate.  I asked if that was possible when pregnant.  Again it is possible... she said it's extremely rare but there are cases of people ovulating in early pregnancy.  Apparently there is a famous case of a woman who got pregnant and got pregnant again a month later.  She had two babies who were 4 to 5 weeks different in gestational age.  Anyway I asked if ovulation while pregnant could interfer with a pregnancy.  She said there were other factors at play besides estrogen when an egg matures.  Basically she said if I was ovulating,  the pregnancy hormones would always over rule and it wouldn't case a miscarriage.  I pressed and said "what if" ...the hormones just somehow sent the wrong message.  She basically said it was an area they just don't know about.  I asked if it were worthwhile to track my hormone levels.  She said first of all, that is basically for people who have trouble conceiving,  Not my problem.  Then she said that it is hard to track because estrogen levels flucuate so much.  She said she could measure my estrogen and get a reading but 15 minutes later get a different reading.  She said is expensive and not very accurate especially saliva testing.  She said "we can do it for you for informational purposes... but we really have no known treatments, other than the progesterone suppositories."  Then I asked again about the pelvic ache I get.  It is something that has only been happening these last two years with the miscarriages.  I didn't get when I was on the pill.  I asked again about laporscopy.  I said I know your priniciple is "do no harm" and the benefits must outweigh the risks but I strongly feel there's some connection to my losses.  Surprisingly she said.... ok I'll do it only because this is the third time you've asked.  She tried to talk me out of it.....citing all the possible problems.  She said she'll do the laproscopy AND a D& C if I'm still retaining this piece as well as the dye through the tubes and a look inside my uterus with a camera.  I asked if she would remove any endometriosis.  She said if she could she would but again warned me there was no link between that and miscarriage.  She also finally give me the release papers to sign so I can access my file.  I want a copy just so I know what tests have been done and what my results were.  I don't know how long this will take but at least the process is started.She is agreeing to do the laproscopy even though she doesn't agree.  That said .... she still says there's nothing she can do for me.   I have "unexplained" recurrent miscarriage. She has no treatment options.  So I asked for the referral to another doctor who researches this problem.  We've started that process too. I walked out of there slightly stunned.....usually I'm shut down on every question.  So I hope I doing the right thing.Last night after supper, I went out to hoe my garden.  The weeds are coming along fine!!!  I felt a gush but figured it might just be the goop they lubricate the ultrasound probe with.  However when I went to the washroom, I discovered blood.  Some was bright red, some was rusty AND passed "tissue".  It wasn't large ... I just wonder if that technician wasn't trying to move the uterus around a bit to dislodge it.  I had an appendectomy when I was twenty.  I woke to find I had menstral bleeding even though I wasn't supposed to have my period.  At the time they told me that sometimes happens when the uterus gets moved.  So I just wonder if something similar happened.  Whew... I guess that's a long enough journal.  I just wanted to record as much as I can remember of what was said yesterday.