I am hoping for the best. My blood tests from last Thursday satisfied my doctor. So now we repeat them next week and if it's dropped to zero, she have me wait for a "normal" period. The downside of all this is of course the ticking clock... today (it changes) I'm of the opinion that I am not giving up. Maybe I'm crazy or obsessed but I want to have a baby. Again, maybe I'm in denial or delusional, but I think I still can. I also stongly believe that at least one or more my losses were normal babies and something is going wrong. I'm frustrated because I've had three doctors refuse to do any testing on these losses. They say it wouldn't provide any useful information. Don't they know it may provide me with some sanity (I don't want to use the words peace of mind). Today I'm angry... I asked for a copy of my tests results just so I could track what tests have been done and what the results were. My doctor did say no problem but I think totally forgot about this request but I've received nothing. I've also asked to have the ultrasound pictures....the ones with heart beats when my babies were alive and they looked at me as if I were out of mind. I tried to explain it was for a momento box to remember my babies. They think I'm crazy because I consider a loss before 12 weeks a baby. So I have not yet received those. Last week I practically begged my doctor to consider laproscopy for me. I want to investigate this pain... only since I've had these miscarriages have experienced some ovulation pain and some pain during intercourse. According to my doctor, who always patiently answers my questions, it is not enough pain to warrent surgery and even if I do have some endemetoris it doesn't cause miscarriage. Like I said, I'm feeling angry this weekend. Yesterday I did yard work outside all day trying to work off some frustration. Weeding, lugging landscaping stones, stacking firewood etc..I'm sore... I've got to get back to exercise. I stopped everything when I was pregnant.... you get so paranoid that something will cause the miscarriage. I have no idea what I will do next... I feel like it's my last stand. I've bought like five books on miscarriage and treatments. I'm so busy with work it's hard to find time to read them. I'm going to try a natropath. My appointment is Tuesday. I want to feel healthy again after this last miscarriage. I have to admit I've kind of been unkind to my body... my eating habits have been terrible and I've done no exercise. It's a silly strange response to what has happened... living healthy, exercise, yoga...to no avail. I still miscarried so part of you thinks what's the sense. Yet I know my daughter needs me healthy so enough wallowing in self pity and unhealthy eating. I am half hoping that this naturpath can help. Her website says she specializes in prenatal and post partum health. I need to feel like I'm trying to do something to stop these losses. I need to MAKE some doctor listen to me and try to work with me ... I hate being treated like a statistic.
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I am so, so very sorry to hear what you have gone through. I think that you are a strong person for having had gone through this four times now. I can relate to being treated like a statistic. It is none of those doctors business as to why you want your childs pics. They don\'t have the right to deny you and I hope that you put your foot down. I feel like you need those pics to have some rememberance and possibly closure. Those doctors don\'t have the right to take that from you. Please forgive me if I have overstepped any boundaries.
these are exactly my thoughts and feelings, and i hope you will get something meaningful from the naturopathic doctor. please let me know what they say. seems every week i have a different outlook as to whether i\'ll keep trying or just \"quit while i\'m ahead\". and i had the identical same reaction after my miscarriages of eating poorly, forgetting my exercise routine, even having some desire to smoke cigarettes when i haven\'t done that in years. then i sort of came out of it, like you partially because of my daughter and partially because i knew that i couldn\'t try again and not do everything in my power to save the pregnancy. extra rest, meds my doctor gave me, of course the prenatals, and even no sex as doctor instructed (thought that went out with the hindenburg??). it didn\'t work but of course i\'m sure i\'ll do the same next time. i feel these pains with you and encourage you to just keep your chin up. the darker days will become fewer and farther between. i will be checking in on you every few days, please let me know how it goes.