I guess acceptance is the name of the game here. I ended up in the hospital 2x last week, once because I was running a fever and really had bad upper abdominal pain (again!) The did an ultrasounds, took blood, etc and it turns out I may have a stomach ulcer. I also had a UTI. Antibiotics were rough on the system, and ended up in the hospital again with dehydration. They infused me with saline and gave me some stonger anti-nause meds. (I was dry heaving this pt) The upshot is I had a follow up with the dr. and they are delaying treatment 7 until the end of this month. My WBCs aren't doing too good, I guess. I will hear what the onc. thinks when I show up late this month for bloodwork and hopefully my #7 infusion. I have an appt w/the gastroenterologist in Oct. for a scope. Yay. Prior to this, I have never had a bad reaction to meds. (other than a penicillin allergy, but those are common) Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind. Everyone I know keeps telling me to stay positive, it will help, and I am usually positive but these symptoms just keep getting worse. I am beginning to lose faith in the total mind body connection thing --- I don't really think I can control my physical reactions to the chemo. I DO know that this could be much worse, and I am a grateful for my situation, but I am just so darn tired. It feels good to just vent all this out..... I feel like I am on track to setting a record for the person taking longest to complete a FOLFOX course.
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Hi Cape, when did you start your chemo treatments. I started mine in mid March. They have delayed my chemo several times, 2 or 3 times for just an extra week, once for just several days and once for 2 extra weeks. I should have been done quite a while ago. I go in for my last chemo #12, this next Tue, Wed, Thur. I hope my white count is ok and everything else is ok so I can get my last chemo on time. I have said many times \"I\'m sick and tired of being sick and tired\". That\'s how I really feel. I have had a lot of problems going through this mess. I am not always positive. I have been pretty down a lot and very frustrated, this chemo is not at all fun. But we just gotta keep doin it til it\'s over. As you say \'we could be much worse\', but I wouldn\'t mind being better. Well I hope you get through all of this soon and I will pray for you to have a long and healthy life.
Hi CC,
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings and \"YES\" all of these setbacks get very tiring and they seem to take a toll on our ability to stay focused with the mind body situation. It is definitely hard to keep positive when it seems the odds are piling up. You are right, it could be worse but then again it is what is happening at the moment that is important to you at that moment. If you need me call, I am here.
Pat