9/4/12 26w4d preggers!!!
Wow, can't believe I am almost in the 3rd trimester! My little boy is getting so big. He is now right under my ribs and his kicks and punches are getting so strong it amazes me. I wanted to do an update on Aydan's condition but I haven't had the time to so here it goes....
I went to the Perinatoligist on August 28th to have them check the echogenic cardiac focus (ECF) on Aydan's heart. They did an ultrasound and took alot of pics of his heart (which I didn't see the bright spot that I saw the last time which would have been the ECF). But this time was different and more concerning... the u/s tech was taking more pics of the baby's head than his heart which was the whole reason why I went. So, I started to get nervous and I was asking her questions on what she sees but she would not tell me and would only say that the Dr would go over the u/s with me afterwards. So, we waited for the Dr and he came and she went over all the organs again with him standing over her shoulder. Finally after half an hour the u/s was over and I was sent to a room to wait on the Dr to come in and discuss everything. He told me the ECF was either getting smaller or because the baby is getting bigger and his heart is growing, that it appears smaller... but they could not see it on the u/s and says may be due to the baby's position and that they couldn't get a good angle of his heart. He says that he is no longer concerned about it. But, he did notice while looking at the baby's brain that the left ventricle was measuring on the "high end of normal"... which at my last u/s at 5 months it was measuring "normal"... They got the u/s results from the clinic and because that u/s tech didn't put the measurement and just put it was in normal range, the Dr didn't really have anything to go by. He says there is a possibility it may be enlarging. Then there would be a problem. But, if it stays the same or shrinks by my next u/s scheduled the end of this month, then he will dismiss me and I will go on to have a normal pregnancy. He didn't really tell me the effects if it does enlarge I guess so I wouldn't panic but I came home and did my own research. In a healthy fetus, the ventricles (there are a total of 4) in the brain measure less than or equal to 10mm. Anything larger than that is abnormal. If it ranges from 10-15mm then it is called ventriculogamy. It's not a big concern and doesn't usually require any surgeries, the worst that could happen is that the baby could have a small developmental delay. But if it grows beyond 15mm then there is another name for it and it is more dangerous. The baby is said to have "water on the brain" and may require surgery to relieve pressure from the brain. Also, it may cause mental retardation. In some cases, an enlarged ventricle can be linked to Down's Syndrome. Other times it can be linked to Spina Bifida when there is also an abnormality detected within the spine. But, as far as the Dr said, everything else on my baby looks normal. All of this was scary news to me. But, there was some reassuring evidence. That when detected later in pregnancy around the 3rd trimester (almost there) then it is not as bad as if it was detected from the start. Also it is more common in boys than girls and sometimes returns to normal before or after birth. I am keeping faith in the Lord and saying that maybe the Dr didn't get a good angle when the u/s pics where taken (just like the heart) or that it was always the same measurement and the other u/s tech put it was normal, cause technically it is normal, but it's just borderline. I am though doing everything in my power to have a healthy baby. So as soon as I got this news, I went to walgreens and bought me some prenatals that had DHA in them to promote healthy brain development. But, even if my son has some problems, I will still love him the same. The way I see it, if God gave me a child with disabilities, it was because I was one of the few mom's that he knew he could trust to take the very best care of that child. In all ways, this child is still a miracle to me and will always be loved no matter what.
In other news, I am still unemployed. My husband just now got back to work today. But he is working at a different job. He was working in logging and now he is in construction. So, thank goodness for that. I've been so depressed and stressed just thinking of how we were gonna pay the bills. I went and put in an application at the Subway where I use to work and the manager was very optimistic and gave me a uniform and made copies of my license and stuff and told me to start this Thursday. That was until I told her that I was capable of doing everything except lifting heavy items and reaching above my head. She was confused and asked why? I told her cause I am 7 months pregnant. Then she got a bummed look on her face and said oh, in that case, I will have to ask the owner about you. ERRRR! I mean a pregnant woman has to pay bills too. I told her I could work all the way up till my due date or until I'm no longer physically capable. And around that time, I don't need to be left working a shift by myself in case I go in labor. I can't believe she didn't see that I was pregnant. I mean, I was wearing maternity clothes and also my belly is pretty out there now... I guess she just thought I was fat and enjoying looking it. So anyways we'll see what is said about that.
Me and the hubster have been fighting alot lately. I think it's mainly because of the stress of paying bills and also because I've been having reoccurring dreams every night of him cheating on me or of him leaving and not coming back and different things like that and because now my dreams are so vivid and seem so real, that sometimes I think I believe them when I wake up in the morning. Especially the ones of him cheating and they make me feel so insecure about myself that I don't like him leaving the house or I get jealous when he's talking on the phone wondering who it may be. Then I saw where he was watching videos of girls on youtube in bikinis and thongs and dancing dirty and I get upset and tell him if he wants a girl like that, to go find one and leave me and my son alone. I know almost all men are like that. Especially watching videos on youtube you click on one and then you have suggested videos to the side that may have nothing to do with the video your watching and if a sexy girl pops up, of course ANY man is gonna click on it. But still, it makes me feel like I'm not enough. :(. Maybe I'm just going thru a crisis right now. I have a fear that postpartum depression is gonna be knocking at my door once the baby comes cause I feel so depressed already and I still got 3 months to go!
One thing I am glad about though is that only 1 more month till my baby shower. I have never been this excited before. Kinda like a kid at Christmas time. Even though none of this stuff is for me lol. I can't wait to get all the little cute baby stuff and clothes and wash them with Dreft and smell like a fresh little baby :D lol. I love the smell of baby lol. Makes me anxious to have my little boy. Well, I guess that's all for now... my hands are hurting from typing so much. I will update though whenever I have my next u/s if not before then!
I went to the Perinatoligist on August 28th to have them check the echogenic cardiac focus (ECF) on Aydan's heart. They did an ultrasound and took alot of pics of his heart (which I didn't see the bright spot that I saw the last time which would have been the ECF). But this time was different and more concerning... the u/s tech was taking more pics of the baby's head than his heart which was the whole reason why I went. So, I started to get nervous and I was asking her questions on what she sees but she would not tell me and would only say that the Dr would go over the u/s with me afterwards. So, we waited for the Dr and he came and she went over all the organs again with him standing over her shoulder. Finally after half an hour the u/s was over and I was sent to a room to wait on the Dr to come in and discuss everything. He told me the ECF was either getting smaller or because the baby is getting bigger and his heart is growing, that it appears smaller... but they could not see it on the u/s and says may be due to the baby's position and that they couldn't get a good angle of his heart. He says that he is no longer concerned about it. But, he did notice while looking at the baby's brain that the left ventricle was measuring on the "high end of normal"... which at my last u/s at 5 months it was measuring "normal"... They got the u/s results from the clinic and because that u/s tech didn't put the measurement and just put it was in normal range, the Dr didn't really have anything to go by. He says there is a possibility it may be enlarging. Then there would be a problem. But, if it stays the same or shrinks by my next u/s scheduled the end of this month, then he will dismiss me and I will go on to have a normal pregnancy. He didn't really tell me the effects if it does enlarge I guess so I wouldn't panic but I came home and did my own research. In a healthy fetus, the ventricles (there are a total of 4) in the brain measure less than or equal to 10mm. Anything larger than that is abnormal. If it ranges from 10-15mm then it is called ventriculogamy. It's not a big concern and doesn't usually require any surgeries, the worst that could happen is that the baby could have a small developmental delay. But if it grows beyond 15mm then there is another name for it and it is more dangerous. The baby is said to have "water on the brain" and may require surgery to relieve pressure from the brain. Also, it may cause mental retardation. In some cases, an enlarged ventricle can be linked to Down's Syndrome. Other times it can be linked to Spina Bifida when there is also an abnormality detected within the spine. But, as far as the Dr said, everything else on my baby looks normal. All of this was scary news to me. But, there was some reassuring evidence. That when detected later in pregnancy around the 3rd trimester (almost there) then it is not as bad as if it was detected from the start. Also it is more common in boys than girls and sometimes returns to normal before or after birth. I am keeping faith in the Lord and saying that maybe the Dr didn't get a good angle when the u/s pics where taken (just like the heart) or that it was always the same measurement and the other u/s tech put it was normal, cause technically it is normal, but it's just borderline. I am though doing everything in my power to have a healthy baby. So as soon as I got this news, I went to walgreens and bought me some prenatals that had DHA in them to promote healthy brain development. But, even if my son has some problems, I will still love him the same. The way I see it, if God gave me a child with disabilities, it was because I was one of the few mom's that he knew he could trust to take the very best care of that child. In all ways, this child is still a miracle to me and will always be loved no matter what.
In other news, I am still unemployed. My husband just now got back to work today. But he is working at a different job. He was working in logging and now he is in construction. So, thank goodness for that. I've been so depressed and stressed just thinking of how we were gonna pay the bills. I went and put in an application at the Subway where I use to work and the manager was very optimistic and gave me a uniform and made copies of my license and stuff and told me to start this Thursday. That was until I told her that I was capable of doing everything except lifting heavy items and reaching above my head. She was confused and asked why? I told her cause I am 7 months pregnant. Then she got a bummed look on her face and said oh, in that case, I will have to ask the owner about you. ERRRR! I mean a pregnant woman has to pay bills too. I told her I could work all the way up till my due date or until I'm no longer physically capable. And around that time, I don't need to be left working a shift by myself in case I go in labor. I can't believe she didn't see that I was pregnant. I mean, I was wearing maternity clothes and also my belly is pretty out there now... I guess she just thought I was fat and enjoying looking it. So anyways we'll see what is said about that.
Me and the hubster have been fighting alot lately. I think it's mainly because of the stress of paying bills and also because I've been having reoccurring dreams every night of him cheating on me or of him leaving and not coming back and different things like that and because now my dreams are so vivid and seem so real, that sometimes I think I believe them when I wake up in the morning. Especially the ones of him cheating and they make me feel so insecure about myself that I don't like him leaving the house or I get jealous when he's talking on the phone wondering who it may be. Then I saw where he was watching videos of girls on youtube in bikinis and thongs and dancing dirty and I get upset and tell him if he wants a girl like that, to go find one and leave me and my son alone. I know almost all men are like that. Especially watching videos on youtube you click on one and then you have suggested videos to the side that may have nothing to do with the video your watching and if a sexy girl pops up, of course ANY man is gonna click on it. But still, it makes me feel like I'm not enough. :(. Maybe I'm just going thru a crisis right now. I have a fear that postpartum depression is gonna be knocking at my door once the baby comes cause I feel so depressed already and I still got 3 months to go!
One thing I am glad about though is that only 1 more month till my baby shower. I have never been this excited before. Kinda like a kid at Christmas time. Even though none of this stuff is for me lol. I can't wait to get all the little cute baby stuff and clothes and wash them with Dreft and smell like a fresh little baby :D lol. I love the smell of baby lol. Makes me anxious to have my little boy. Well, I guess that's all for now... my hands are hurting from typing so much. I will update though whenever I have my next u/s if not before then!
Replies
i\'m so sorry about the news about his ventricle. I am praying about it for sure. that\'s super scary, but i am hopeful that it will be ok.
bummer about the subway job! i\'ve wished i could get a job for a while but honestly, my back starts hurting when i freaking do laundry for 10 minutes, i doubt i would be comfortable working right now. plus i only have 9 weeks left, thats barely enough to get on the payroll!
i also know what you mean about the dreams. i haven\'t had too many but i\'ve heard a lot of pregnant women have them and its definitely frustrating. but you are beautiful and he knows it! ;)
i\'m excited for my baby shower too! :D i am supposed to have one on sept 29 but i haven\'t heard much about it, but for sure having one on october 6!
Thanx Casey. I had my preacher pray for the baby and he says my baby will be fine and I believe him. He also told me I was having a little boy with black hair.... which at that time we didn\'t know it was a boy and also he didn\'t know my husband is hispanic and every mixed baby I\'ve seen has black hair. So more than likely it will be true for my baby as well. It hurts knowing something could be wrong with your child but I gotta stay strong for him.