9.4.10

I could think of a few things that could be worse, but thi is pretty bad.  I do try to stay positive through this whole mess, but it is not easy.  I believe in a will to live and a will to die.  You can give up and let your body just fail, or you can fight.  I have found through daily life, that everyday can be a struggle.  I have been betrayed by people that I have let into my life before, now there are not many ways to get into my life.  I do often wonder where the next phase is going to come from.  I have been writting a journal for years, I have entries dated 1995.  Good and bad expriences need to be logged, I need to keep this up for myself.