Goodness, I was angry about my life before this happened, this makes things worse.  I know that I will find some happiness someday, just not yet.  It is not like me to be angry.  I have always been a very hard worker for little reward because I think that is what makes the world go round.  I have selflessly given of myself for many years, and this happens to me.  This might be the universes way of telling me to slow down.  I have done so many different things and maybe now I have the opourtunity to apply them.  I have been the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker.  I have had jobs were they want you to work as fast as possible, I am sick of that.  Not to long ago, I had a job at a parking garage as a valet parker.  I would go to get one car and people would ask me to get theirs also.  I would say, "yah, let me move that with my mind".  It is from that experience that I learned one at a time.  Multitasking is sloppy, nobody remembers to do everything.  That is how I rebuilt my engine, one at a time.  You can't put on the air cleaner until you put on the carb., etc..  I need to tell myself, just relax.