8th day
One week ago today I left my alcoholic, abusive SO. I will from now on refer to him as the X, not the SO.
I have gone through so much emotionally, but have received so much support. I am very blessed.
He is still pulling the strings as far as getting my stuff, furniture, etc. Yesterday he said I could not come get anything & then later I could come get some stuff. I want to be able to pack stuff without him hovering. I get so dang nervous. I went there and got a few things yesterday. He was nice, but obviously upset & holding it together (Drinking rum & coke at 3:00 pm) I just kind of threw stuff in bags and got out of there as soon as I could.
Today I am supposed to go there to pack stuff in boxes. I had spinal surgery 4 weeks ago & am not supposed to lift over 5 pounds, so all of this is amazingly difficult. He said he would stay outside & work on the yard & then I could pack boxes inside. He will carry them out to the garage. He asked for his key back & I understand that. I need to go get boxes this morning and wait for his royal highness to text me so I can come pack.
He is alternately being a dick and then being nice about it. Just like living with him. I am NOT rising to the bait. I am NOT defending myself or arguing. I have learned over the past 4 1/2 years that no one can win an argument with him. I keep telling myself we will play it his way until I get my stuff out, then I don't need to be nice anymore.
I need to get an apartment or a storage by this Saturday. He has said he wants everything out by Saturday. & then he said Saturday wouldn't work because he has plans . . . so ???? Plans?? he rarely goes anywhere & now doesn't have a designated driver, so ????
I will get through this & have a better life. I know this now. I cannot imagine going back to him, no matter what he says or does.
But, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me
Think this is exactly where I'm at & it is soooo much better than a week ago!
I have gone through so much emotionally, but have received so much support. I am very blessed.
He is still pulling the strings as far as getting my stuff, furniture, etc. Yesterday he said I could not come get anything & then later I could come get some stuff. I want to be able to pack stuff without him hovering. I get so dang nervous. I went there and got a few things yesterday. He was nice, but obviously upset & holding it together (Drinking rum & coke at 3:00 pm) I just kind of threw stuff in bags and got out of there as soon as I could.
Today I am supposed to go there to pack stuff in boxes. I had spinal surgery 4 weeks ago & am not supposed to lift over 5 pounds, so all of this is amazingly difficult. He said he would stay outside & work on the yard & then I could pack boxes inside. He will carry them out to the garage. He asked for his key back & I understand that. I need to go get boxes this morning and wait for his royal highness to text me so I can come pack.
He is alternately being a dick and then being nice about it. Just like living with him. I am NOT rising to the bait. I am NOT defending myself or arguing. I have learned over the past 4 1/2 years that no one can win an argument with him. I keep telling myself we will play it his way until I get my stuff out, then I don't need to be nice anymore.
I need to get an apartment or a storage by this Saturday. He has said he wants everything out by Saturday. & then he said Saturday wouldn't work because he has plans . . . so ???? Plans?? he rarely goes anywhere & now doesn't have a designated driver, so ????
I will get through this & have a better life. I know this now. I cannot imagine going back to him, no matter what he says or does.
But, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me
Think this is exactly where I'm at & it is soooo much better than a week ago!
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