The holidays are coming. Ugh. Stress goes up, in-laws come, lots of snipping comments and unhappy people--sounds like great fun. Any one up for a vacation to the Bahamas? I'm having a harder time with this set of holidays than any I've had in the past, I think because I realize just how unhappy and trapped I am.
I was thinking of what it would take to get me out of the situation, of what the "perfect" scenario would be. If a rich man came along who loved me and my children, loved me FOR ME, not for some idea of a wife/mother he would like, who honored me and valued me and respected me for me, if he came along, offered me a home and love and respect, I would jump ship. Why not? Money is an issue though. My son needs therapy, he needs therapy equipment.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not worry about money at all. It is beyond my comprehension at this point. I am not an extravagent spender and I hate shopping. But the thought of being able to buy my son a $500 piece of therapy equipment without thinking twice about it is alluring. The thought of having someone else do the finances, that was good with money, and that spent money wisely not frivously would also be such a luxury.
They say that the first time you marry for love and the second time you marry for money. I think I can relate to this, but I am still much too idealistic and I don't think I could marry for money without love. I need both. Maybe the first time you marry just for love, the second time you marry for both :-).
I was thinking of what it would take to get me out of the situation, of what the "perfect" scenario would be. If a rich man came along who loved me and my children, loved me FOR ME, not for some idea of a wife/mother he would like, who honored me and valued me and respected me for me, if he came along, offered me a home and love and respect, I would jump ship. Why not? Money is an issue though. My son needs therapy, he needs therapy equipment.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not worry about money at all. It is beyond my comprehension at this point. I am not an extravagent spender and I hate shopping. But the thought of being able to buy my son a $500 piece of therapy equipment without thinking twice about it is alluring. The thought of having someone else do the finances, that was good with money, and that spent money wisely not frivously would also be such a luxury.
They say that the first time you marry for love and the second time you marry for money. I think I can relate to this, but I am still much too idealistic and I don't think I could marry for money without love. I need both. Maybe the first time you marry just for love, the second time you marry for both :-).
Replies
I love this entry SS,and my heart go\'s out to you for sharing your deep thoughts with us all.My prayer is that someone would see this entry and the need your dear son has and bless you with the money to buy that equipment he so needs.It is the season for giving and anything can hope if you just believe.God Bless!