Some day I will write a book about my experiences with my profoundly autistic child. He is a gift to me and I have learned so much. In the meantime, I wanted to comment on some of the stupidest things people have said to me. I don't have a top 10 list, so I guess I have only a top 3 list of things NOT to say to the parent of a newly diagnosed child on that autism spectrum:
(3) Oh, that is so interesting, so very interesting. (Interesting? Try devastating.)
(2) Well, at least you won't have to deal with sibling rivalry now; that is such a pain. (Oh how I wish I had to deal with sibling rivalry.)
(1) Oh! I know EXACTLY how you feel. My child was diagnosed with dyslexia--you know, where they mix the letters up when they read--and it was sooo devastating. I mean, when it first happened, I thought my world would end. Here my child had a learning disability and I thought, oh my god, so here is what I did.......
(I'm sorry, I'm sure this was hard for this person, but that is like telling someone who just had both of their legs amputated at the waist that they know exactly what that feels like because they had their little toe amputated just the other day. There is no comparison.)
I'm not bitter about these things, and I think I will put them in my book. I realize people don't know what to say often, but in general, if you think before you speak and concentrate on feelings, you can't go wrong. Most people don't know much about autism so I am working to raise awareness in little ways.
(3) Oh, that is so interesting, so very interesting. (Interesting? Try devastating.)
(2) Well, at least you won't have to deal with sibling rivalry now; that is such a pain. (Oh how I wish I had to deal with sibling rivalry.)
(1) Oh! I know EXACTLY how you feel. My child was diagnosed with dyslexia--you know, where they mix the letters up when they read--and it was sooo devastating. I mean, when it first happened, I thought my world would end. Here my child had a learning disability and I thought, oh my god, so here is what I did.......
(I'm sorry, I'm sure this was hard for this person, but that is like telling someone who just had both of their legs amputated at the waist that they know exactly what that feels like because they had their little toe amputated just the other day. There is no comparison.)
I'm not bitter about these things, and I think I will put them in my book. I realize people don't know what to say often, but in general, if you think before you speak and concentrate on feelings, you can't go wrong. Most people don't know much about autism so I am working to raise awareness in little ways.
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Raising awareness is much needed. I also wish that the diagnosis process had been less of a hassle (took forever and many testing sessions before my daughter was diagnosed). Also, I have had to turn into one of \"those parents\" (aggressive and obsessive) just to get consistent services.