Don\'t respond. Take a deep breath, put your head together, remember your goals, remember your list why she/the A isn\'t good for you or your well being.
If you begin communication with her, I\'m telling you. I promise it will be the same thing, different day. I know, Stuck....I\'ve been there. You know that. You CANNOT be friends. As hard as that is.....even if you are saying now......\"maybe we can have a friendly chat, blah, blah\".....welcome to my world.......
And I know its so damn fucking hard.....but what everyone is saying, they all cant be wrong. Keep strong.
And if this happens to me......remind me of the same thing.
Ok I haven\'t responded. But her email is showing me this woman is in real pain. I was the one who went cold turkey. Also I still have her keys.
Should I give her closure and hand her keys over?
Like B went cold turkey on me.....I don\'t know.......let\'s let it sit overnight and see.....
There is a piece of me that says just mail her keys back and she\'ll get the message.
There is another part that thinks you should be short and sweet and say, \"This isn\'t working for me anymore. Please don\'t contact me again. I will mail you your keys. I wish you the best\"
And then END it.
Man. The contact after NC. Bittersweet for sure. I like shore\'s advice...quick note saying this can\'t work anymore and tell her you will mail keys. You must be prepared that she might write you again so need to make sure to ask her not to. You are strong. Good luck.
I third the short and sweet contact, then BE STRONG. It\'s hard. I have broken it twice and both times got the short, dismissive reply. I definitely got the message and won\'t be breaking it again. Send the message you mean to send. It\'s true that if not you\'ll be back at square one.
Go see your therapist ASAP. Write a very harsh email draft including language about returning keys. I say draft don\'t sent yet. Take a walk and talk to yourself about all this (SELF DIALOGUE) Come back and take a shot of Whiskey. Just enough to give buzz. Look at harsh email before whiskey kicks in and revise just a little but make sure there is enough language in there to burn bridge. Maybe a fuck off sentence in there. Close your eyes and as whiskey begins to kick in and push send. Then have another shot. and take another short walk and go to movies. BURN THAT BRIDGE by being harsh. She might respond asking why after so many years are you being this way and you just say \"you and this situation have made me this way\" After what I have been through, I am convinced that this is the only way to get away from this shit.
LOL...love Sedge\'s reponse.....but can I say I have been thinking of you and thinking of you Stuckfast .....and of me......and of your OW.
I wasn\'t like your OW. I am who you see on here. I got involved with a total jerk off who clearly used me. Anyone who knows me on here knows that although the writing was on the wall, I chose to stay and be treated poorly (for whatever reason that was.....).
With that said, after 3 years of this....some good, this time much worse....after 3 years, I do deserve the bridge burned. If I sent an email, like she did (which I will not, cause I\'m not giving the SOB satisfaction to think I remotely give a fuck), I would need and frankly deserve a response, especially after a relationship of a few years. She put herself on a limb by sending that email....she knows the response she might get. But, yes, let her go......if for any other reason, not to leave it \"hanging\" ......let her go so she can move on and be told its done. Final. Done. Whatever you do, please don\'t do what B did to me.....please....none of the, \"I\'m gonna be busy for the next couple of weeks.\" (he doesn\'t know I know he deleted me)
In fairness, if I didn\'t realize he deleted me (by checking a stupid online scanner), I might think he is actually busy the next couple of weeks.......
Don\'t keep her hanging.
Allow it to be tucked away and she can move on......if she contacts you yet again......then you can not respond.
Replies
Don\'t respond. Take a deep breath, put your head together, remember your goals, remember your list why she/the A isn\'t good for you or your well being.
If you begin communication with her, I\'m telling you. I promise it will be the same thing, different day. I know, Stuck....I\'ve been there. You know that. You CANNOT be friends. As hard as that is.....even if you are saying now......\"maybe we can have a friendly chat, blah, blah\".....welcome to my world.......
And I know its so damn fucking hard.....but what everyone is saying, they all cant be wrong. Keep strong.
And if this happens to me......remind me of the same thing.
Ok I haven\'t responded. But her email is showing me this woman is in real pain. I was the one who went cold turkey. Also I still have her keys.
Should I give her closure and hand her keys over?
Like B went cold turkey on me.....I don\'t know.......let\'s let it sit overnight and see.....
There is a piece of me that says just mail her keys back and she\'ll get the message.
There is another part that thinks you should be short and sweet and say, \"This isn\'t working for me anymore. Please don\'t contact me again. I will mail you your keys. I wish you the best\"
And then END it.
I wish B was at least short and sweet and didn\'t say, \"I\'m gonna be busy for the next couple of weeks.\" Then press the delete button.
Definitely sit on it for the night. Stay strong.
Man. The contact after NC. Bittersweet for sure. I like shore\'s advice...quick note saying this can\'t work anymore and tell her you will mail keys. You must be prepared that she might write you again so need to make sure to ask her not to. You are strong. Good luck.
I third the short and sweet contact, then BE STRONG. It\'s hard. I have broken it twice and both times got the short, dismissive reply. I definitely got the message and won\'t be breaking it again. Send the message you mean to send. It\'s true that if not you\'ll be back at square one.
Go see your therapist ASAP. Write a very harsh email draft including language about returning keys. I say draft don\'t sent yet. Take a walk and talk to yourself about all this (SELF DIALOGUE) Come back and take a shot of Whiskey. Just enough to give buzz. Look at harsh email before whiskey kicks in and revise just a little but make sure there is enough language in there to burn bridge. Maybe a fuck off sentence in there. Close your eyes and as whiskey begins to kick in and push send. Then have another shot. and take another short walk and go to movies. BURN THAT BRIDGE by being harsh. She might respond asking why after so many years are you being this way and you just say \"you and this situation have made me this way\" After what I have been through, I am convinced that this is the only way to get away from this shit.
LOL...love Sedge\'s reponse.....but can I say I have been thinking of you and thinking of you Stuckfast .....and of me......and of your OW.
I wasn\'t like your OW. I am who you see on here. I got involved with a total jerk off who clearly used me. Anyone who knows me on here knows that although the writing was on the wall, I chose to stay and be treated poorly (for whatever reason that was.....).
With that said, after 3 years of this....some good, this time much worse....after 3 years, I do deserve the bridge burned. If I sent an email, like she did (which I will not, cause I\'m not giving the SOB satisfaction to think I remotely give a fuck), I would need and frankly deserve a response, especially after a relationship of a few years. She put herself on a limb by sending that email....she knows the response she might get. But, yes, let her go......if for any other reason, not to leave it \"hanging\" ......let her go so she can move on and be told its done. Final. Done. Whatever you do, please don\'t do what B did to me.....please....none of the, \"I\'m gonna be busy for the next couple of weeks.\" (he doesn\'t know I know he deleted me)
In fairness, if I didn\'t realize he deleted me (by checking a stupid online scanner), I might think he is actually busy the next couple of weeks.......
Don\'t keep her hanging.
Allow it to be tucked away and she can move on......if she contacts you yet again......then you can not respond.