I miss the sound of my son's real laugh. How weuse to find things to do in little things that didn't involve money. If i had it, i would try to get it for him. Some times it would take longer because I really didn't have any income, but I always found ways to provide for him and sacrificing myself. I tended to every boo boo. Fixed most broken toys. Showed him how to do things for himself. Even though we couldn't go out to all the cool places, I figured it was enough because he could do those with friends later on in life. He enjoyed spending time with his cousins and we went bike riding to places around where we lived. Some times I would let him syay up just a couple hours after bedtime. I even worked around the yucky foods he didn't like and still manage to get him what he needed. Whenever he needed something, it was me he came to. And when it came to the wants, he had to earn those through chores and grades and behaviour. For us, that has how it has always been. To show moral and teach responsibility. If behaviour was poor and grades started dropping, then those wants started to be on hold until otherwise. It was avoidance and then anger and resentment towards me. Now, it's like I don't recognize my own child. I raised him by not lying to him and not back talking others and he responded with the exact opposite of what I taught him. All I asked from him was to not lie. He didn't even have to say he loved hs mommy. Just don't lie. How can I help if you lie to me. There is only so many times a person can call, "Wolf," and be believed. Now I will never know when you are in real trouble and need help and now I am in no position to be able to help even if I found a way to believe in him again. I no longer feel like my son is my son anymore. And it is the one thing that continues to weigh on me.