Today. I'm going today. I'm losing it. I'm watching myself fall, fast and hard. I have lost my daughter. I can't deal with her sickness. I can't deal with my own. I can't fix us both, I can't even fix me.I don't want to have to be strong for my other kids. I don't want this job. I can't support them, I can't nurture them, I can't get them on their way, because I'm lost myself. I've considered drinking again. Just for attention. Just so someone will say, "Don't do it." Just so someone will see that I'm sick. That's stupid. I know it is, I'm old enough to know better.