Hello everyone, well, this is hello and goodbye. You see this is the last of my five post set by what I said before. This is my last entry. I'm not sure if it's the last time I'll ever be on this site, I may someday want to come and look back at all the things I wrote on here, but it will definitely be the last time I'm on here for at least... well... lets say a year. This will be the last time I'm on this site until 1st May 2012. Must be a shame to all of my readers. Too bad nobody does read this.
Still, you have been with me though good times and bad times as well, there are a lot of dark memories I have from you now. Things that I refuse to think about, things that I want to forget, things so visceral that I can't put them into words. Maybe all I've been doing is running away from the certainty that things are crap and people are crap and that I'm changing. I've got some kind of warped moral compass now, there are few things in my head which are completely repugnant to me any more. Ah, I'm changing, probably not for the better, maybe for the worse, and definitely to be different than I am right now. The same thought goes through my head 'if only things had been different...'. I know things won't change, if everything happened all over again then things would still end up the same. People never change, never deep down. Change is superficial, even the way I'm changing is superficial, there's still things down at the core of who people are that won't change. What I like and dislike may change, my tastes, my age, but beneath everything I'll still be... I'm not sure really actually. People are crap so I don't try and understand them, I don't even try and understand who I am. It's not like I could put it into one word anyway. When did I get like this? If only things had been different...
Well I realise that this is a bit of an anticlimax for a last entry, but, well these are the last thoughts going through my head before saying goodbye to this.
I'm off for the last time this year, maybe I'll see you later, but maybe I won't either.
Goodbye random reader, I doubt you're anyone I know anyway.
Still, you have been with me though good times and bad times as well, there are a lot of dark memories I have from you now. Things that I refuse to think about, things that I want to forget, things so visceral that I can't put them into words. Maybe all I've been doing is running away from the certainty that things are crap and people are crap and that I'm changing. I've got some kind of warped moral compass now, there are few things in my head which are completely repugnant to me any more. Ah, I'm changing, probably not for the better, maybe for the worse, and definitely to be different than I am right now. The same thought goes through my head 'if only things had been different...'. I know things won't change, if everything happened all over again then things would still end up the same. People never change, never deep down. Change is superficial, even the way I'm changing is superficial, there's still things down at the core of who people are that won't change. What I like and dislike may change, my tastes, my age, but beneath everything I'll still be... I'm not sure really actually. People are crap so I don't try and understand them, I don't even try and understand who I am. It's not like I could put it into one word anyway. When did I get like this? If only things had been different...
Well I realise that this is a bit of an anticlimax for a last entry, but, well these are the last thoughts going through my head before saying goodbye to this.
I'm off for the last time this year, maybe I'll see you later, but maybe I won't either.
Goodbye random reader, I doubt you're anyone I know anyway.
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