That little voice in the back of my head, the one I've been encouraged to listen to and trust, has started to misbehave again.  I find this to be the case more and more often as the years go by.  Being bi-polar has left me uncertain as to what I can believe in, who I can trust, and which direction I should turn to for love and support...During stressful times in my life 'the voice' begins it's rant, by reminding me over and over again that I am not worthy of love, respect , companionship, success, and happiness.  'It' encourages me to believe that this life I live is in actuality 'hell', and that something I did in a past life has sent me here,...or 'It' tells me I'm being tested for sainthood, and in encountering despair and surviving it, I will be assured peace in a future existance... Blah, Blah, Blah.  SHUT UP ALREADY!!!I've always respected my ability to think rationally.  I believe that I am a good listener, that I'm articulate, compassionate, and intelligent.  It is a stuggle however to convince myself of this when 'It' starts spitting up it's venim...And now onto something similar but not all together related,...I was disapointed in Monday's episode of Oprah that focussed on Bi-polar Disorder.  This is not why I'm feeling so down on myself lately, but merely an observation of something that has upset me.  An observation that I'm all together certain is coming from a rational part of my brain...Oprah introduced the show by using a woman who murdered her child as an example of someone who is bi-polar.  The following segment was that of a bi-polar actor who had threatened his wife's life.  I had originally hoped that I could use a tape of this show as a means of educating my friends, family, and loved ones, about Bi-polar Disorder, knowing how respected the Oprah show is.  This episode however is not something I'd choose to show anyone.  I believe if anything, my viewers would in turn look at my affliction as a possible threat to their lives, and after viewing the beginning would likely glaze over and tune the rest right out ..Oprah's comments also gave the impression that she felt that bi-polar disorder was being used as an excuse for inappropriate behavior, and that our parents, and parent's parents hadn't the opportuinty to fall back on this as an excuse... However, an  inherited chemical imbalance is not an excuse.  It is an unfortunate reality in actuality, that wasn't understood or discussed in the past.   My grandfather died in 1959, strapped to a board after having encountered daily shock treatments for many years.  Only a handful of people, almost 50 years later, are  aware of his struggle with mental illness.  It just wasn't to be discussed.    The last 15 minutes of the Oprah show, albeit flip, was more factual and far less exagerated.I'm not disputing the facts presented in the first two segments of the show.  Some extremely unwell Bi-polars do commit innapropriate acts, murder, and suicide.  With suicide as an exception, my guess would be that we are no more capable of commiting murder than anyone else would be...Which brings me back to that 'little voice' I refer to...In my experience, having to listen to 'it', I have come to conclude that I am far more likely to hurt myself than anyone else.  I am far too sensistive and loving to ever afflict pain on those around me.  I'm only speaking from my own personal thoughts on the subject, but from what I have learned on the DS website, and from other bi-polars, we are deeply loving individuals, simply sharing different degrees of the same illness.  No two people, no matter what the affliction, are going to experience the same thoughts.  Those little voices will vary and so will overall view's on situation's encountered.As individuals it is important that we respect the differences in each and every one of us, and not make assumptions that set us back rather than move us forward.  I am a big fan of Oprah and of her production staff, but I believe the show on Bi-polar Disorder did not help, but in fact hindered a better understanding of the subject.Funny, but the 'little voice' is starting to shut up and fall back to sleep.  In being proactive about how I feel and expressing it via DS, I'm beginning to feel much much better...Looking forward to your opinions, and continuing to share mine with you...Hugs, Roscoe