feeling bad

feel better than i did during the last entry...not sure if i still care about my bf though. :( i'm in love with a celebrity, and i wanna reach out to him, in an appropriate way...but,...i've been too depressed to...and in the meantime i am scared of having to get closer to my bf....i don't wanna be alone, but if i f things up it might end up that way and then i'll be screwed...my life is so messed up right now, i don't even know if i should follow my dreams still or give up and go to the other college. :( so unhappy i don't know what to do.
Ellyn