Ugh...

Im not sure why i keep doing this to myself. My ex wife asked me to go to the mall with her yesterday....i agreed. It was Thanksgiving in Canada yesterday and as soon as i woke up...I just felt this unussual attraction towards her...Like i REALLY wanted to be with her...around her...sigh. Well we went...and it was great...we didnt agrue or fight about anything....just enjoyed the day. Yesterday was a very big sign for me that i still want to be with her. Standing on the escalators or behind her in line...I just wanted to hold her and kiss her....=( I really belive if i were to say....In the next three years i would be willing to have children with her....and that we were to go to counselling...we would try to work things out. But then again..is that what i really want..Or am i just not fully healed..and will be better off in the long run...Fuck i dont know.. I just want to lonliness to end someday.