today i told my husband grandfather he was going to be a great grandfather. He couldn't have been happier couldn't stop smiling. He's 72 i think and getting remarried in may. Anyway what worries me now is that i've told everyone except his mother and my parents i should say we've told everyone except them and the reason being that when we told them we were getting married 2 years ago christmas well it would be one year anniversary on sept 17 of this year they fliped couldn't believe it and all my mother would say was " This better work if nto we aren't paying for another wedding": As you can tell my mother payed for the wedding and i appreciatate that. The big episode is what i call them with my mother is the day before our wedding last year my mother (sept 16th) said something that will always hurt me in front of my sisters who are the ages now 12 10 and almost 8. and in front of my now husband my husband couldn't beleive and and neither could anyone else when i told them she called me a FAT A**hole yeah you fill in the letters im so scared that i haven't told them i got a new job over a months ago. I need advice because my husband doesn't know what to do other then say she cant do anythign and if she wants to be there she had better be nice about it but i was abused by my mother weither or not she wants to admit. I was adopted at age 6 with my brother age 4 in 1991 couldnt' have been happier then and then i wasnt an easy child but i had a hard first 6 years anyway to the point my mother said more then once that she wish she hadn't adopted me and that hurts me to this day to no end. I need help please because i want to share her first grandchild with her but if she can't containt herself so to speak i may have to say that she can't be at its birth at the hospital. My in-laws couldn't have been happier. Please help someone.
joanen
joanen
Replies
Oh Joey, sweetie...what a tough situation. I know its easier said than done, but for your sake and your baby\'s, try to stay calm okay? Getting upset doesn\'t help, right? I\'m sure its not easy. It seems those closest to us always seem to hurt us the most. That because we let those closest to us in, and trust them. That\'s why betrayal hurts more. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, can you find one? Check the resources in your area. If you insurance doesn\'t cover one some cities have free clinics. Look in the phone book. Your doctor or local church might be able to suggest somebody as well. And you have lots of support, open arms, and shoulders here. =) Okay hon? While I don\'t know what you\'re going through or quite what to tell you, I can say I\'m thinking about you and praying for you. Try to stay calm, and be patient. Time sometimes solves things. Give yourself time to calm down so you don\'t blow up at your mom and say things you\'ll regrt later that will just make her hurt you more. People feed off each others ractions. For example, if your husband comes home cranky and snaps at you you\'ll have a tendency to snap back at him. Then he might yell at you. Then you\'re fighting and nobody remembers why you\'re fighting, who started it or why it even began. These things happen. Trying to stay in a happy, light mood will help. Your body will be more relaxed and your baby inside you will be more comfortable. This might help with your morning sickness as well, but I dunno. Just try your best, and remember you can\'t change other people, no matter how much you want them to do things. Your mom will make her own choices, no matter what you think she should do. Best of luck, and I\'m here for you. Big hugs & stay healthy!