Scared!!!

I went to NY appt today to get the results of my HIV test and turns out I am HIV+ I haven't cryer yet not sure why maybe cause it hasn't fully sunken in yet I'm not really sure all I know is that I am sure about is that I am scared most I have ever been in my whole life I never though in a million years inwould be the one to get something like this specially seeings I'm not like I don't sleep around a lot but I did forget to take in how many people or what type of people I was sleeping with and who theyight have been with one thing that has me the most sad is the Am I never going to be able to be a mom mow that was my biggest thing I wanted in life does this mean Im not going to be able to do so :( or who's going to want to be with me now that I have it am I going to be alone for the rest of my life? So yea I'm scared worried sad and just some what numb at this time my mind is just going into 40 million different directions