Thanksgiving

Day started out good, did a hobby I like for few hours in the morning, then home and went back to bed, stbx was firm on times today 3pm-8 pm, so I got up at 1:00pm, went to my sisters for dinner, then went to pick up the kids at 3:00, back to my sisters, was nice. left about 5;30, then just my daughters came back to my place my son went with friends (he's 18), so 7:45 I tell them it's time to go guy's, we get in the car and driving I get a text from my son telling me, mom's not home neither and I she said she will pick them up at your house later........
i'm not going to lie this burned my a$$, the last three times I dropped these kids off she was not home, I told my laywer and he said if it happens again take them to the police station she can pick them up there, I did not want to do this and scare the kids, so we drove around for a bit looking for deer in the fields, then went to the house, she was just pulling in, granted it was only 15 minutes but it's the point...... so she jumps out and starts yelliing at me to roll my window down, I was like no I don't want to talk to you, pissed her off even more, saying that's why she called me etc... SHE NEVER CALLED ME SHE CALLED My SON, then I had to have my daughter call her to see how long she was going to be.......
I had a fine day with my emotions but after seeing her, she looked so good, she lost a ton of weight and could get any man she wanted anytime she wanted, she's just a really good looking lady. now my emotions are a mess again wishing I could of worked things out with her, but I know it can't happen, my poor daughter broke down for the first time yelling I can't believe this is happening to us......
omg I feel so so bad right now, i just took a sleeping pill hope it kicks in fast,, can't deal with my emotions right now....