8 Years

How many years do you live in a relationship and keep pretending it's perfect? How do you keep telling yourself that it's all going to be okay when it so clearly isn't. 

Where do you draw the line between things getting out of hand and abuse? What is abuse exactly and how do I know if I'm being emotionally and physically abused? Does simple shoving count as physical abuse? What if there is never a bruise? What if he simply pushes me down or throws things at me? Is that still physical abuse? If so how do I begin to acknowledge someone I love this much could be capable of that, let alone leave him?

What about emotional abuse? Is making me feel replaceable emotional abuse? How about when he says I'm useless? That I'll never be able to do better than him. Is that emotional abuse? I'm so confused and I just need an outside unbiased source (someone who doesn't know either of us personally) to clarify these details for me. Am I overreacting or is my family right? 

Am I being emotionally and physically abused....?