8 months and I still miss you so
Hi sweetie I have not written in this journal in months now. I know you see how much is happening in my life and the stress that I am goin through and i pray that i am doing the right things Joe. I dont know what to do with your boys and ex. You knwo i love those boys so much but they hate me, conintue to sue me and tell your friends and family that I have done such horrible things...as if i have stolen from them. Why Joe?
I thought being back in brookklyn iwth the girls and my mom would help but I dont want to go out the door? I am still so sick and always dizzy but I run to the car and drive to get places. You hear me talking to you while I am behind the wheel to help me see straight and to guide me where i am going. I know you would not want me driving at all but I have not choice, I cannot walk even a block without collapsing. I miss you even more being in this house. This is where you helped move me to when we first met 12 years ago. I sit here and can imagine you walking in the door and staring at me with that smile. Saying "hey..do you know how much I love you!" your week days surprise visits to brooklyn were the best!! Then we did it..we got married after all those years and I moved to bayside with you for good. After one year it was over for us...why? I still ask why?
I want to pick up the phone here and call you to hear your voice. I need to redo this whole place and have no furniture. I use to LOVE to shop and decorate but I find no reason for it now. No reason for anything anymore Joe. I talk angry and mean to my mom and I try so hard not to..but she is a widow and she seems to go out everyday and laugh and have fun. Why does that make me so jealous? I am rambling Joe lol..and you are laughing, I am sure. There is just so much happening. I want this lawsuit stuff over with and I so want your boys back in my life but I know that is over for me. I get emails from your brother and his wife. Today your niece had her baby boy and his name is JOSEPH MICHAEL...I think it is after you Joe....your namesake was born during the night. He gave her a real hard time (HMMM so much like you already), but after a c section he arrived upside down lol!!! Watch over your TWO new great nephews now and keep them safe. Hopefully my duaghter, our daughter, will be able to get pregnant soon. She wants a baby so badly..but now to sure about Jimmy ( I know you very much dislike him!!) Hope God lets the right thing happen for her.
Love you baby so very very much. I want to get in the car and take a drive upstate with you and see all those special places we would look at...I have to get it in my head that this will never happen again. The boys will never ever allow me on the property, even to look around, again. I have my pictures to look at and remember~~ Hope I see you in my dreams sometime my love.
I thought being back in brookklyn iwth the girls and my mom would help but I dont want to go out the door? I am still so sick and always dizzy but I run to the car and drive to get places. You hear me talking to you while I am behind the wheel to help me see straight and to guide me where i am going. I know you would not want me driving at all but I have not choice, I cannot walk even a block without collapsing. I miss you even more being in this house. This is where you helped move me to when we first met 12 years ago. I sit here and can imagine you walking in the door and staring at me with that smile. Saying "hey..do you know how much I love you!" your week days surprise visits to brooklyn were the best!! Then we did it..we got married after all those years and I moved to bayside with you for good. After one year it was over for us...why? I still ask why?
I want to pick up the phone here and call you to hear your voice. I need to redo this whole place and have no furniture. I use to LOVE to shop and decorate but I find no reason for it now. No reason for anything anymore Joe. I talk angry and mean to my mom and I try so hard not to..but she is a widow and she seems to go out everyday and laugh and have fun. Why does that make me so jealous? I am rambling Joe lol..and you are laughing, I am sure. There is just so much happening. I want this lawsuit stuff over with and I so want your boys back in my life but I know that is over for me. I get emails from your brother and his wife. Today your niece had her baby boy and his name is JOSEPH MICHAEL...I think it is after you Joe....your namesake was born during the night. He gave her a real hard time (HMMM so much like you already), but after a c section he arrived upside down lol!!! Watch over your TWO new great nephews now and keep them safe. Hopefully my duaghter, our daughter, will be able to get pregnant soon. She wants a baby so badly..but now to sure about Jimmy ( I know you very much dislike him!!) Hope God lets the right thing happen for her.
Love you baby so very very much. I want to get in the car and take a drive upstate with you and see all those special places we would look at...I have to get it in my head that this will never happen again. The boys will never ever allow me on the property, even to look around, again. I have my pictures to look at and remember~~ Hope I see you in my dreams sometime my love.
Replies
Thjose trips WILL happen again and again for you Annie, even if it\'s only in YOUR MEMORY, and YOUR PICTURES. i wish I could say something to make this better for you, and I know I can\'t. the kids I hope in time will see how unloving they are being to you and that you are the link to their dad I REALLY hope they do.
JUST SO SORRY for all that is happening. BUT you CAN visit the places that were so special to the both of you. All you have to do is close you5r eyes and you are there. with him right beside you all the way.
LOVE to you and big hugs hoping things start to get a bit easier for you and not harder.
CONGRATS on the little ones!!! :-)
Diane