8 months
Carlos:
Today is 8 months since I last saw you. It is hard to accept that I will never see you again until God decides that it is my time to go. I miss having you here. I miss that friend that was always there for me to hold me when I was down. I miss having those talks and sharing jokes. Life is not the same no matter what I try to do or pretend you are always in my mind. I still find myself praying that I can come home one day and see you there waiting for me.
I have thought so much about the days prior to your death. I have those horrible memories of you lying in that bed unable to move, talk or open your eyes. That stupid coma, how I hate that word. I hate to think that you were unable to see us or let us know you were hearing us. I hate that whole episode and wish I could have done something to wake you up. I try everything Carlos but it was not meant to be because God had other plans for you. He did not want you to suffer and decided to let you rest. They say God only take the best and I know you are one of them.
Everyday I miss you more and more. Rosela and Said are having a hard time and although the try to be brave, I know they cry often for you. We talk about you often and at times we laugh then we end up crying. I am not able to listen to the music you loved because it hurts so much remembering you singing away at home or in the car. Said came back from Seattle but will be leaving in about 3 weeks. I think his girlfriend is moving in with him. I know if you were here this would be happening. Rosela finally found a job and is going back to school in September again. I think she decided to become a nurse. I am hoping Said goes back to school. His girlfriend Monica is a very nice girl and she is pushing him to go back to school. You did not get a chance to meet her. Said was dating her and was going to bring her home when you got sick. I meet her parents and they are good people but I wish you were here with me to have gone to meet them. They are coming over next week Saturday for dinner at home. It is so hard to do things on my own without you. I wish they could have tasted your cooking.
Today is 8 months that my world feel apart. I loss my best friend the love of my life. I wish you would come in my dreams. I beg you everyday to come and visit me. There are days that I just wish I could run and find you but then where are you. How do I get in touch with you? I go to the gravesite to visit you and talk everyday with you. I think maybe people think that I am crazy because on Sundays I take a blanket, pillow and a book and stay there for hours. Rosela and Said say that is mom's time with dad.
Said has grown up quite a bit. He is taking care of the things around the house that need to be repaired. He had your cousin Juan come over to put lights on the front of the garage. He is painting the bathrooms and painting my room. He is going to build shelves in the garage. He remembers the that you and him built the shelves in the garage. It is hard not having you here. Rosela tries to make me laugh because she can see that I am always in pain.
Yaneli will be celebrating her sweet 16 on April 3rd. I know that you would have been proud to be part of it. She misses you so much. You know Carlos all my nieces and nephews miss you so much. They always say you were the best uncle they had and I know they mean it because even when you were alive they would always say that.
Today is very hard for me because it is a reminder of what I had and will never be able to have again. I will never be able to feel that joy that was once part of my daily life. Tiffany has been asked to compete for Ms. California Teen. She has not decided as yet but seems to be leaning towards it. She made a beautiful Christmas card for me and the kids for christmas. She said how much she misses you because you were her favorite uncle. I don't think anyone can every forget you because you touch so many lives. Your smile, kindness and love was what made you so special. I don't recall you being mean to anyone and when I was mean you would bring it to my attention. God only takes the best and he surely did when he took you to heaven. He gained an angel but we are left here with this pain. I know that someday we will be together and that day Carlos will be the best day of my life. I will be able to see you again and hug you forever. I love you and miss you. Why did you have to leave me?
Linda
Today is 8 months since I last saw you. It is hard to accept that I will never see you again until God decides that it is my time to go. I miss having you here. I miss that friend that was always there for me to hold me when I was down. I miss having those talks and sharing jokes. Life is not the same no matter what I try to do or pretend you are always in my mind. I still find myself praying that I can come home one day and see you there waiting for me.
I have thought so much about the days prior to your death. I have those horrible memories of you lying in that bed unable to move, talk or open your eyes. That stupid coma, how I hate that word. I hate to think that you were unable to see us or let us know you were hearing us. I hate that whole episode and wish I could have done something to wake you up. I try everything Carlos but it was not meant to be because God had other plans for you. He did not want you to suffer and decided to let you rest. They say God only take the best and I know you are one of them.
Everyday I miss you more and more. Rosela and Said are having a hard time and although the try to be brave, I know they cry often for you. We talk about you often and at times we laugh then we end up crying. I am not able to listen to the music you loved because it hurts so much remembering you singing away at home or in the car. Said came back from Seattle but will be leaving in about 3 weeks. I think his girlfriend is moving in with him. I know if you were here this would be happening. Rosela finally found a job and is going back to school in September again. I think she decided to become a nurse. I am hoping Said goes back to school. His girlfriend Monica is a very nice girl and she is pushing him to go back to school. You did not get a chance to meet her. Said was dating her and was going to bring her home when you got sick. I meet her parents and they are good people but I wish you were here with me to have gone to meet them. They are coming over next week Saturday for dinner at home. It is so hard to do things on my own without you. I wish they could have tasted your cooking.
Today is 8 months that my world feel apart. I loss my best friend the love of my life. I wish you would come in my dreams. I beg you everyday to come and visit me. There are days that I just wish I could run and find you but then where are you. How do I get in touch with you? I go to the gravesite to visit you and talk everyday with you. I think maybe people think that I am crazy because on Sundays I take a blanket, pillow and a book and stay there for hours. Rosela and Said say that is mom's time with dad.
Said has grown up quite a bit. He is taking care of the things around the house that need to be repaired. He had your cousin Juan come over to put lights on the front of the garage. He is painting the bathrooms and painting my room. He is going to build shelves in the garage. He remembers the that you and him built the shelves in the garage. It is hard not having you here. Rosela tries to make me laugh because she can see that I am always in pain.
Yaneli will be celebrating her sweet 16 on April 3rd. I know that you would have been proud to be part of it. She misses you so much. You know Carlos all my nieces and nephews miss you so much. They always say you were the best uncle they had and I know they mean it because even when you were alive they would always say that.
Today is very hard for me because it is a reminder of what I had and will never be able to have again. I will never be able to feel that joy that was once part of my daily life. Tiffany has been asked to compete for Ms. California Teen. She has not decided as yet but seems to be leaning towards it. She made a beautiful Christmas card for me and the kids for christmas. She said how much she misses you because you were her favorite uncle. I don't think anyone can every forget you because you touch so many lives. Your smile, kindness and love was what made you so special. I don't recall you being mean to anyone and when I was mean you would bring it to my attention. God only takes the best and he surely did when he took you to heaven. He gained an angel but we are left here with this pain. I know that someday we will be together and that day Carlos will be the best day of my life. I will be able to see you again and hug you forever. I love you and miss you. Why did you have to leave me?
Linda
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