Today

Today is both a good and bad day. It's my husband's birthday and today would have been my due date. When I miscarried back in December, my husband said that he doesn't think he can celebrate his birthday the same anymore. The past few days I have been depressed and angry. I wasn't this way a few weeks ago. I guess I knew that this day was coming and I started feeling differently. I've thought about my little angel everyday especially these past few days. I could have been a mom by now. It still hurts but what can I do. It's been five months and I'm still yearning for my son. I'm going to try again but at the same time it's going to be hard. My friend has a baby shower next weekend and I decided not to go. She's having a boy and I honestly don't feel like going there and watching her open her presents. I'll send her a gift but I just don't want to be around pregnant people right now. It seems like everyone is having babies these days except me. I just feel sad and lonely without my little man. I have my husband, family and friends but I wish I could have that one little thing that I've always wanted. Today would have been the day that happened.