Dream

I had a dream of Ryan, it was sooooo reeeaall!!.... He was watching TV in his bedroom. The thing is, it wasn't his bedroom,  B/C  the bedroom was across from mine, and there is not a bed across from mine.  I got out of bed, heard a TV on, walked in the room across from mine, there he was, alive and well.  He looked exactly the way he was before he died. He was laying on top of the bed, fully dressed ,he had his bright blue polo shirt on. He got up, walked over to me, I said "Are you alive"?.. He said "Yes".. I said "Are you really really alive", "And your never gonna leave me again". He said, "No, I'm never gonna leave you"...The dream was so vivid, so real. When I woke up, it was minutes until I realized it was a dream.... I laid in bed, thinking, feeling sad...The good thing is, I knew if I laid in bed any longer, I would of gotten more depressed, gone back to sleep, the more I slept, the more depressed I would become, on and on and on and on...That  basically was the life I was living, the first 2 years.. I lost around 40 pounds, I was so weak from not sleeping right, not eating good..Soooo, I finally came to my senses..I had to fight for my life, my daughter was unhappy, actually, it affected my whole Family... I knew my family need me, so I had to get better, before someone else in my family dies. I wouldn't of been strong enough, if something really bad happened. I had to get out of myself, out of my head. In my head is a horrible place to be....My 3rd year became much better slow by slow, one day at a time. I had to ask God for help. I ask Him, "Please God, Help me get through today, only for today". Don't think of tomorrow, or yesterday, ONLY FOR TODAY. I have been doing this daily, one day at a time, for the last 8 months. I feel so much better... I want to continue these dreams, so I can always be with him, always forever.....ASK GOD FOR HELP!!!..It also will happen to you, JUST ASK...... OK, I have to get up, and get busy, its the only way to live life, the way Ryan wants me to. I really think dreams have meaning to them. I believe in my dream, Ryan was giving me a message, to let me know he is still alive, and it is beyond human vision. I hope everyone of you have a good dream, to comfort you as I did.. Love to you my friends, Kelly