#78 "Suddenly...There You Are"

hi guys before i get into this poem, i have to tell you that friday was a very rough day. i spasmed a lot, and was just really sore i didn't eat much friday. every time i tried, it just seemed so hard. it was so frustrating because i had been doing so well the last couple of weeks, and then ONE bad day threw me off and upset to the point where i didn't want to eat. so i was extremely frustrated. i talked to adriana, and she made me feel better. (thanks hun!) i ate dinner, but was still upset. i went into my room and put the mp3 player on my phone on. celine dion's "if that's what it takes" came on. i remembered that jenny had put that song on the first cd she made me. the lyrics reminded me of how my friends have really backed me up throughout this mess. for those who have never heard the song, here are the lyrics. You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside I see it in your eyes Even you face the night afraid and alone That's why I'll be there When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes If that's what it takes You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name 'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above You've given me your love When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain That's why I'll be there When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed I will lay down my life, if that's what you need Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul I will hold on all night and never let go Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes If that's what it takes Every day If that's what it takes Every day that song and the poem "footprints in the sand" inspired this. #78 "Suddenly...There You Are" When the day has all but torn apart My broken, starving soul When I have cried tears of sorrow Till it feels like I will drown When the whole world comes tumbling down When it feels like the monster Will swallow me whole Suddenly There you are With prayers, poems, songs on my wall Instant messeges, e-mails, Disney movies, musicals Anything at all Anything to put a smile on my face And replace Even for a moment The pain of this illness When I am weary and teary-eyed From the day's battle When I have fallen down And crumbled around All the pressures of the world When I have reverted back to that weak little girl Suddenly There you are With your phone calls, text messeges, Bible verses, and calming words Your jokes that however corny Will forever make me laugh When I have lost the will to fight the monster And am headed to the kitchen To bury all the pain Suddenly There you are again With that new song you've written Or tales of your new kitten When the whole world's gone crazy And I think I'll never escape That I'll be trapped with the monster forever Suddenly There you are At my door With your hugs Or surprise calls "Wanna catch a movie?" At those moments Never have U been more thankful For such a random act of love You don't know it But you are saving me from myself Saving me from myself Saving me from ED hell When I am so sick of being sick That I could scream untill my throat is sore Suddenly There you are Telling me to write some more When I am so lost in the darkness of my eating disorder That I can't see The Light Anymore Suddenly There You are With Your forever comforting words "...During your times of trial and suffering When you only saw one set of footprints in the sand It was then that I carried you" Fallon Marie
Inspired by Celine Dion's "If That's What It Takes" and the poem "Footprints in the Sand" Deticated with all my love and thanks to my family, jenny, cassie, angela, emily, victor, erica, jenna, megz, megan and katy, katie, heather and steve, ashley, mindy, adriana, jacqui, lindsay, and the rest of my teamceline family
sorry. unfortunately i don't have photos of all of you. *HINT HINT I NEED MORE PICS* lol. i included a photo of maria because she has saved my butt more than once when i have wanted to binge. it's kinda crazy how a little kitten can bring so much joy to my life. -fallon

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I\'m sorry you had such a tough day on Friday hun. I hope you\'re feeling better today.
Thank you for posting the song/poem, it\'s lovely.
Take care.