we had a beautiful saturday & sunday, it was about 88 degrees. saturday we had the yearly memorial for children who have passed on. the coolest thing was when we released all those balloons, they all kinda went up to heaven as a group, like all our kids were together, it was comforting to watch them soar upward & disappear. About 2 seconds later I found a penny in the grass, it was so shiny you couldn't miss it. Pennies are a sign from the other side, i think it was joe saying, hey mom, i'm here & it's ok.
but it was a tearful day, too, and of course I lost it for a while, but jessica helped me through it, she's a good "mom."
Today was Easter, a real different Easter for us, no family dinner, no Easter eggs. we went to church & it was very uplifting but had trouble controlling the urge to start crying again several times. Last year we had invited Joe to come with us. I look around & see all those young people his age, & feel sad that he didn't have that happiness or hope, that he was so tormented & miserable and sad. well here I go, the tears are pouring out. i'm gonna stop now