Thanking you all for your support. I'm glad so many 0f you are considering the movies in your minds... I don't worry that I might be sad and cry over it... I gain a gift from seeing Cara and loving her and even more importantly that in my dreams or movie... her children see her... My heart is always so sad for them... I have come close to accepting that for Cara perhaps death was a release from the bondage of addiction... someday on the other side we will understand... then maybe time will be for us as it is for God... a blink...
I don't know what people who deal with their loss differently... the keep your chin up, have a positive attitude, be strong not weak type of people would think of my "movie" but now and then I allow myself to picture it like I wish it was... and perhaps on some parallel plane it is... or maybe... will be... I always know I'm only indulging myself in allowing my mind to wonder to that more pleasant life... and if I get lost there... and can't find my way back... I am not sure that is a bad thing...
I don't know what people who deal with their loss differently... the keep your chin up, have a positive attitude, be strong not weak type of people would think of my "movie" but now and then I allow myself to picture it like I wish it was... and perhaps on some parallel plane it is... or maybe... will be... I always know I'm only indulging myself in allowing my mind to wonder to that more pleasant life... and if I get lost there... and can't find my way back... I am not sure that is a bad thing...
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I fully agree with you. Those very precious movies/dreams are ours, exclusively! And no-one can take that away from us!
Indulge yourself, any time and any way you please!! This is your journey and we have to deal with it, the best way that we can....
((((HUGS))))....Julia
So I had a very thoughtful response to your journal. It disappeared in to cyberspace! Suffice it to say that having dreams, movies in the mind etc are ways to cope with the horrendous reality of our lives.
We walk this road together understanding that we do what we need to do to cope.
Just remember to care for Elissa!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
I think we all have a \"movie\" in our minds...in our hearts....and I think that\'s a good thing, when that movie takes us to a peaceful, wonderful place with our children. I love SEEing Kala smile, singing, and bouncing around the room (I swear that child bounced with joy when she walked!). I can sometimes see her in scenarios that never really happened while she was here on earth, and like you, I think perhaps, just perhaps, those are glimpses she is giving me of her life now. Who can really know....yet. Kala knows. Cara knows. And I think most of all, all they need us to know is they are OK.
Tight heart hugs my friend~~
My movie is coming to me.. It may take awhile in \"production,\" :) It involves babies as Douglas loved babies even though he never had one of his own (or that I know of anyway.) :)
We each do what we must and our grief path is as unique as we are and where I find I do go often is to our wonderful and very hilarious camping trips. One day I came out of our bathroom in our trailer and Douglas was on his knees with slippers where his knees are to look like feet and had a banana sticking out from you know where. I screamed and smacked the banana and it went flying... I will never forget the laughter we shared and what a clown he was in so many ways. Who would do that to their mother?! He was probably about sixteen or seventeen at the time. LOL!!!!!
Such a sweet profile picture that you added too. :)
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie